13 Counterfeit Carmens Compete for the Right to Most-Like-Miranda Title

Gino Valley is convinced his hairy, bulging stomach and sorely misplaced fake eyelash lost him the Carmen Miranda look-alike contest.

But the judges found the outfit Valley threw together on a dare Friday was just not spicy enough to beat Linda Colon, whose conga moves, they said, could have shaken the fruit off a banana tree.

“People have been asking me what am I doing wearing clothes like this, that I must be nuts,” said Valley, 59, of Ventura who admitted that he had had a few drinks before hitting Ventura thrift shops for the components of his outfit. “I can’t argue with them.”

The look-alike contest held in Mission Park to the rhythm of a salsa band kicked off this weekend’s Ventura Music Celebration. It drew 13 contestants, including a Christian minister, a woman trying out her Halloween costume and another who stole the plastic fruit on her headdress from her mother’s dinner table.

The daughter of a Portuguese fruit merchant, Maria de Carmo Miranda da Cunha is one of the most widely impersonated celebrities after Elvis Presley. Her popular nightclub act led to several movie roles in the 1940s. She died at age 46 of a heart attack after an energetic performance.

“I’m always looking for fun, and any time it’s good, clean, nonfattening and moral fun, I’ll go for it,” said Effie Kratz of Port Hueneme, who won two tickets to an upcoming Brazilian Ball at the Ventura Theatre for best ankle straps.

Fillmore minister Annette Sula-Goff, 40, said friends talked her into participating and made her costume that could have won a prize for least revealing, covering all but her shoulders and ankles.

“Even with that, I was still a little iffy about the whole thing,” Sula-Goff said.

Along with the $250 main prize, judges awarded tickets to the Brazilian Ball for best headdress, fanny wrap, ruffled skirt, platform shoes, biggest earrings and longest eyelashes.

Dennis LaRochelle, president of the Downtown Ventura Assn., admitted that he and the other judges who unanimously chose Colon were slightly handicapped since they had no photographs of Miranda to use for comparison.

“I knew what the parts of the costume should look like,” LaRochelle said. “She had it all together, with maybe a little less costume on.”

Topped by a hat covered with Miranda’s signature fruit, Colon’s outfit included a lace-ruffled red tube top, brief shorts and a saucy half skirt.

“She seemed to be the wild Carmen Miranda, putting it all out,” said Dr. Tere Monzon, a judge.

Colon, 33, of Camarillo, said she entered mainly to attract “some single guys who might like a feisty girl.”

“Everyone has a suppressed desire to be something they’re not,” Colon said. “Beneath this glitter and glamour, there really is an old-fashioned girl.”