RESTAURANT REVIEW : Bludgeoning the Appetite at Billy’s

“Why would anybody put gravy on a knish?” a friend asked me over lunch at Billy’s. “Ask Billy,” I replied, scraping the stuff away with a butter knife.

I knew better, of course. Billy was the original owner but he’s been gone a long time. The Glendale restaurant now belongs to an Indonesian woman named Sylvia Ong and I didn’t want my friend, a native New Yorker, getting uppity with me. When I finally did tell him, over a corned beef sandwich he praised, he almost dislocated his jaw.

The restaurant looks like a ‘40s movie set. It’s a surreal mix of blond wood booths, brown vinyl banquettes, dreary overhead lighting and tray-twirling, combat-ready waitresses who call everybody Honey. Dingy pictures of cold cuts and deli platters hang from the walls. Ice water is poured into paper cones, sitting on your table in a stack.

Once the gravy’s scraped off, the knishes are a real treat. Billy’s makes two kinds every day: potato and meat. The dough is hand-rolled and the knishes bake up soft and flaky. One is enough to fill you up.

But then, that’s true of almost everything on the menu here. Take the appetizers--most of them bludgeon the appetite rather than stimulate it. Chopped liver comes in a large scoop and the richness gets to you in no time. Eat it with rye bread, tomato, onion and black olives, and don’t even think about a second course. Smoked fish--such as whitefish, smoked salmon and kippered cod--are lighter, but you can take care of that with a little cream cheese.

It’s more sensible to start with one of the classic deli soups--matzo ball, chicken noodle or kreplach. The chicken noodle soup is probably the best of the three, with an abundance of soft noodles in a plentiful stock. Matzo ball soup is another solid choice, an above-average version that would be a lot better if the matzo ball weren’t so, well, solid. The kreplach soup, with its meat-stuffed ball of dough that must weigh half a pound, is another story. It tastes good but, believe me, you don’t want to finish it.

As in any old-style deli, heavy food and monster portions seem to be de rigueur. When it comes to sandwiches here, chances are the countermen will load up on you, stuffing your rye bread or French roll with thick slices of cold cuts.

Brisket dip is especially good, a pile of hot, tender brisket on a French roll that you dip in salty meat juices. The meat practically falls apart when you put it in your mouth. Pastrami and corned beef both cut the mustard--lean, a bit hard to distinguish from each other and plenty spicy. Fine, fatty tongue is served cold in uncharacteristically thin slices; it would be even better hot. Turkey, knockwurst and Wilno kosher salami sandwiches are good here too. The waitresses should bring you a dish of the briny house pickles to eat with any of them. The first-rate cole slaw and potato salad are served at extra charge.

Should you be hungry enough to order an entree, ask them to hold the gravy. Roast chicken comes with a sage dressing and a blanket of gravy that would keep a spoon from falling over. Pot roast, a frequent special, comes with gravy and a potato pancake that wouldn’t float in the Dead Sea. There are also dishes like short ribs, turkey legs and stuffed cabbage, platters of them served with boiled potatoes, mixed vegetables and more gravy. You don’t want to finish them either.

Anyone who gets as far as dessert will be pleasantly surprised--most are made in Billy’s own bakery. They’re displayed in a glass case next to the cashier. Any questions? The waitresses will tell you to get up and look for yourself.

Among the better desserts here are the lemon bundt cake, the cheesecakes and a custardy eclair with a gooey chocolate topping. You’re on steady ground here no matter what you choose. Just to be really safe, you might ask them to hold the gravy.

Recommended dishes: chicken noodle soup, $1.25; potato knish, $1.50; brisket dip, $5.75; chocolate eclair, $1.50.

Billy’s, 216 N. Orange St., Glendale, (818) 246-1689. Breakfast, lunch and dinner 7 a.m.-8:30 p.m. daily. Beer and wine. Metered parking in side lot. All major credit cards. Lunch for two, food only, $15 to $25.