BACK TO THE FAMILY; How to Encourage Traditional Values in Complicated Times <i> By Dr. Ray Guarendi (Villard Books: $18.95)</i>

Leo Tolstoy was right (but you knew that, didn’t you?) when he said that all happy families are the same, but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. Clinical psychologist Dr. Ray Guarendi saw a potential best seller in the first half of that equation, and so has come up with a book about what all those happy families know.

He has the best of intentions: The Children’s Hospital Medical Center in Akron, Ohio, decided to study family life at its best, and contacted the National State Teachers’ Assn. to locate 100 great families to interview. The teacher nominated families from all over the geographical and economic map, and Guarendi has attempted to distill the results into what is essentially a how-to manual for people who want to build a better home life.

So his heart was in the right place. His execution, unfortunately, is not. “Back to the Family” sounds like a combination revival meeting and talk-show parody. Surely, he has the best of intentions. He counsels families with emotional or financial problems, “To be sure, your path may be more winding and littered than some, but as each chapter of this book will show, excellence is an internal quality, not easily squashed by external conditions.” And in some cases he is right; the popular media love to showcase the down-but-not-out family.

Still, inspirational literature--and that’s essentially what this book is--is not enough for the truly struggling. Families in strife need a battle plan, not a pat on the back. They need tactics, not witnessing from families who are on top of things. And frankly, some of the 100 happiest sound as though they’re on suspiciously good behavior. Guarendi has a decent section on discipline--but the family voices often trivialize the information he presents. Tolstoy had the sense to choose fiction and an unhappy family; Guarendi lets his happy folks speak for themselves, and it’s hard not to wish they’d been more succinct.