SAN DIEGO COUNTY AND THE PERSIAN GULF CRISIS : Letters From Persian Gulf Forge Link With Loved Ones

Kaye Hunter has stopped watching the news--it scares and depresses her too much.

Six-year-old Kenneth cries for his daddy when his mother, Barrie Leonard, wakes him in the morning for school. And every night, Kenneth wants his mother to show him on the globe which part of the ocean his father’s ship reached that day.

The Hunters and Leonards, like other families, are trying to collect their lives after husbands and wives departed on the San Diego-based Acadia, sailing for the Middle East to assist in Operation Desert Shield.

For the families, the departure was abrupt--the destroyer tender was not scheduled to leave until January. While the ship is at sea, there are no telephone calls. Almost instantly, letters have become their only means of staying in touch.

Last month, The Times published letters from families to those who shipped out. These are some of the letters home.

Kaye Hunter read in a letter that her husband was issued his own gas mask and she felt the fear tighten her throat.

“Oh God, I tell you, it’s been a nightmare,” said Hunter, ombudswoman for the Acadia. “Being fitted for gas masks really brings home the reality that this is different. But he writes about it so calmly.”

Chief Petty Officer John Timothy Hunter, 37, has been in the Navy almost 17 years and has shipped out on deployments before. But this one has shaken the family like no other.

Kaye Hunter has decided not to cook Thanksgiving dinner because she cannot bear her husband’s absence at the table. She sees other couples holding hands and she feels sad and lonely. The prospect of Christmas shopping depresses her since she is trying to figure out a gift small enough to mail and keeps finding items far too big.

Her 13-year-old son, John, wants to wear his father’s blue plaid bathrobe, which still carries the scent of aftershave. But every time he does, it only serves as a painful reminder.

“Sometimes I bury my face in that bathrobe. I won’t wash it until he comes home,” said Kaye Hunter, 39. “It’s all the little things. You find yourself turning to talk to someone who is not there.”

Dear Kaye & John, 5 Sept. 90

I was trying my best not to get sobby before I had to go onto the ship, however I should have known I was fighting a losing battle. It has only been seven hours since we left San Diego.

I got my things moved into Master Chief’s old desk and cleared out (the rest) ... I can actually see the desk now.

Kay, you and John really mean the world to me and both of you held in there very admirably while waiting with me on the pier. You know it’s hard to write with tears in ones eyes.

There is going to be a Captain’s call in about 1 1/2 hours and if anything important is said, I will put it into print. However, by the time you read it, it will be history, oh well!

We don’t have a clue as to how long we will be anchored or where we will go. The likelihood of us going into the Gulf is very slim!!

How are you and John doing? Are you getting a lot of phone calls? Have you checked the oil in the van? Well, I am running out of things to write about so I will close with telling you how much I love you. I love you more than all the ghost balls under John’s bed. No, wait! More than that, more than all the grains of sand at Black Beach.

Love ya lots, Tim.

Dear Kaye, 7 Sept. 90

Yesterday, during General Quarters, Chief Lentz discovered that number 1 air conditioner had developed ruptured chiller tubes. Once the chain of command was informed of this, a plan of action involving the repair department was started. The general workshop guys worked through the night...They also had to swap out two 400-pound motors.

We had General Quarters (G.Q.) again on Friday night and I didn’t get to bed until around 11:30 p.m. The safety stand down was more for the new people assigned than anything else. At 0800, I had an appointment at the dental office and got out of one of the lectures. The (dentist) who looked at my teeth said they look very good and I only needed to schedule a cleaning.

This afternoon, we had another G.Q., we have the new gas masks that are our own personal issue. The new masks are designed differently and are more bulky than the old masks.

We will retard clocks again tonight one hour. . .

Petty Officer Brandstadter and myself were talking about how hard it is leaving on an extended deployment and how much harder this one is than last because of such short notice. I hope and pray that everything is going smoothely and that you are o.k.!

Just don’t forget that I love you, Tim

P.S. How is John doing?

Barrie Leonard imagines the Acadia’s return and how her husband will look dressed in his white uniform as he steps across the brow. She thinks about how her son Kenneth will jump up and down on the pier. She figures that 6-month-old Johnathan will probably be walking by then.

“I think a lot about when the ship gets back,” said Barrie Leonard, 30. “It’s like a movie that plays in my mind.”

Her marriage to Arrington Leonard, 35, a petty officer 2nd class, has been stormy. But in the months before the Acadia’s departure, the couple had rejuvenated their relationship, she said. And because of that, his letters take on a special significance.

“I look for the letters; I look for signs that he is consistent, for some kind of reassurance that everything is OK and that he is keeping the faith,” Barrie Leonard said. “My focus is more on the marriage surviving.”

She tries not to think about the possibility of war because it frightens her so. Instead, she plans what the family will do--a trip to Disneyland--when her husband comes home. And she tries to console Kenneth, who is going to school for the first time.

“I tell him ‘one month down, five to go’--that makes it sound shorter than if I say ‘four weeks down, 40 left,’ ” Barrie Leonard said.

But her son is uneasy. Because his father charged him with making sure his mother locks the windows and doors, he wakes in the night and pads into her room.

“Don’t forget to lock the door,” he tells her.

8 Sept. 90 2039 hr. Hi My Darling,

Well, I finally got some paper to write on, at the store.

I pray that you are well and the boys haven’t been too hard on you.

I am doing good. I am reading my Daily Bread, going to meetings, listening to my good music, and I started the verse memory book today. I feel real good about memorizing verses. I feel confident I will do okay...

I have been working out and taking the (nutrition) powder stuff. It is working out okay as I have been blessed with a workout partner and companion. My new acquaintance Tony and I are getting to know one another. During the G.Q. drill the other day we talked about women, cars, our early days as children, religion and even about our ideas about being faithful to our partners. Even though he is not a Christian, we have the exact thoughts.

Having Tony around to talk with has made these few days more bearable and the outlook for the remainder of the cruise is brighter.

I miss you and the boys terribly and I am anxious to hear your voice and to talk with the boys. I haven’t watched the tape of the boys yet, I am saving it for later on. . .

I did as you asked, I put our names in lights on the mess deck and have some congrats and happy birthdays. Yes, your name is there about our 10 year anniversary.

I love you.

I hope the sixth of Sept. was a good day for you as it just didn’t seem the same to me. If you don’t mind we can celebrate that day over when I return.

I am running out of things to say so I will write a few words to Kenny then sign off. Keep the faith. I am. I love you.

Kenny,

I love you and miss you very much. A verse to study and remember:

I CAN DO EVERYTHING THROUGH HIM WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH. Philippians 4:13

Daddy is memorizing verses. WE CAN DO THIS TOGETHER. I WILL SEND MORE TO SHARE WITH YOU.

love, Daddy.

14 Sept. 90 0141 Hrs. Hi My Darling,

Another day has passed and as I sit around and listen to Randy Stonehill, I remember how we had listened to the tape together before we had to separate and I really miss you dearly.

After I talked with you, I came back to the ship at about two o’clock and I napped til four. I had some training at 4:15 and I really didn’t want to get up.

Sitting here I have had thoughts about what I have been doing to myself. . . I have been using cigarettes to beat myself up. As you know, the addict inside wants to be liked by everyone and when that doesn’t happen, I always blame myself. Then I am not okay and I don’t like myself. . .I won’t let it happen any longer!...

It sure was nice to hear your voice, and also Kenny’s. I wonder how Kenny is really feeling inside and how he is taking it.

I know God has a plan for me and my growth. . .I will start praying for God to ease my pain from wanting to be liked by all and to concentrate on God’s love...

It’s getting late and I still want to write a few lines to Uncle Ken, so will close here.

I will write more, but please don’t expect to get daily writings. I love you and am still faithful. Please give Ken and Johnathan hugs and kisses from daddy. XXXXOOOO

All my love, Len

11 Sept. 90 Dear Kenny,

I hope that you are OK. I would like to hear about your first day at school. Please let me know in a letter. I really miss you very much.

I can’t wait to talk to you. I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH. GIVE JOHNATHAN HUGS AND KISSES FROM DADDY.

I WILL WRITE AGAIN SOON!

LOVE, DADDY