They Need Crash Course in Courtesy

Driver Ayrton Senna collided with Alain Prost on the first turn of the first lap of Sunday’s Japanese Grand Prix, knocking both Prost’s Ferrari and Senna’s McLaren-Honda out of the race. That clinched the world driving championship for Senna.

In Milan, Gazetto dello Sport, Italy’s largest sports daily, ran a front-page headline: “Senna, world champion pirate.” And continued: “The Brazilian rams Prost and makes his title dirty.”

And the Milan daily, Il Giorno, said in a front-page story: “Senna won the world championship of bumper cars.”

Add drivers: Prost and Senna also collided in the 1989 Japanese Grand Prix, and that crash clinched the Formula One title for Prost.

In Turin, home of Ferrari, the daily, Stampa Sera, ran a headline Monday: “Kamikaze Senna sinks Prost.”

Its story said: “Senna had never given up the idea to take vengeance for last year’s collision . . . and threw mud on his second world title with a piratic behavior.”

Last add drivers: Ferrari reportedly asked auto racing’s governing body, FISA, to discipline Senna.

Umberto Agnelli, vice president of Fiat, which owns the Ferrari team, said: “One could have expected a more sporting outcome.”

Trivia time: In the history of the NBA, which team has averaged the most victories per season?

Roll of the dice: Paul Westhead, new coach of the Denver Nuggets, when asked about transplanting the system that helped his Loyola Marymount teams lead the nation in scoring for the last three years, couldn’t respond quickly enough.

Said Westhead: “I am a fast-paced coach. No, I stand corrected. I am the fastest-paced coach. And I will accept any and all criticisms because of that.

“This is what I do. The people who hired me know that. They didn’t ask me to walk the ball upcourt. Everyone in the league runs basically the same stuff. Everybody plays the same game of Monopoly. Well, I’m going to try to play Parcheesi. I’m going to try to change the game a little bit.”

Blackout in effect: Imagine the neighborhood Little League coach forbidding his players to watch the New York Yankees. Or USC football Coach Larry Smith ruling that the Trojans must not watch the Dallas Cowboys.

Far-fetched? The Associated Press reported Monday that after the Dutch national team lost to Portugal, 1-0, in a European Championship qualifying match, Frans Geers, coach of the Rolder Boys, an amateur soccer team in The Netherlands, said: “From now on, we won’t watch the Dutch team until they can provide a better example for my players.”

Bionic Blazer: After signing his recent contract extension, guard Clyde Drexler of the Portland Trail Blazers said: “I grew up watching ‘The Six-Million Dollar Man’ on television, and now I’m going to make $8 million in one year.”

Trivia answer: The Milwaukee Bucks, with 49.31 victories a season since they joined the NBA in 1968-69. The Boston Celtics are second with 49.25, and the Lakers are third with 48.05.

Quotebook: Defensive end Dan Hampton of the Chicago Bears, who has had 15 broken bones and 10 knee operations: “Some guys are like a ’57 Corvette with 3,000 miles and in mint condition. I’m like an ’89 model with 400,000 miles.”