Strawberry a Juicy Deal for Dodgers

Do you have any idea what Darryl Strawberry could do for the Dodgers? Do you have any idea how close the Dodgers came to winning their second World Series in three years?

If the Dodgers could have overtaken the Cincinnati Reds down the stretch--as they nearly did--and then survived a difficult National League championship series with Pittsburgh, then they could have swept that goofy Oakland club and won another championship.

So, Dodgers, meet Darryl.

Darryl, Dodgers.

Get acquainted. Say howdy. Bring lawyers. Talk big green. Work this thing out.

Straw Man, you’ve done New York. If you can make it there, you’ll make it anywhere. It’s up to you.

I already like the sound of it.

L.A. Straw.

Darryl’s terms, we hear, are these:

He wants to be paid the same way Jose Canseco is paid. Were everybody in America paid the way Jose Canseco is paid, George Bush would have to shut down every museum and federal building six days out of seven. The mint would run out of green ink.

In return, as we understand it, Darryl would agree to:

a) Put his signature on that Dodger contract immediately, without giving the New York Mets a chance to up the ante.

b) Play center field, enabling the Dodgers to keep Kal Daniels in left, keep Hubie Brooks in right and keep Kirk Gibson where he belongs, back in Michigan.

c) Remind his friend Eric Davis to never, never, never sign his name to one more contract to work for Marge (Kennel Rations) Schott, who doesn’t concern herself with injured employees unless the doctor they’re seeing is a vet.

Eric the Red would look cute in Dodger blue. But that’s for later. For now, we want to turn his best friend into Darryl Blueberry.

Wouldn’t you love to see how Strawberry looks in center field? Wouldn’t you love to see him anywhere in any outfield? Wouldn’t you love to see Strawberry field forever?

Hard to say, where money is concerned, how much is too much to pay for a player. Peter O’Malley is no pauper, but it’s not as though downtown Los Angeles has an O’Malley Plaza Hotel, nor is there an O’Malley Shuttle at LAX, John Wayne, Ontario and Burbank, with nonstops leaving hourly for every city with San or Santa in its name.

Darryl Strawberry, though, is worth the price of admission, and the Dodgers do happen to be raising the price of admission.

Personally, there are only five or six players I would go out of my way to go see: Strawberry, Canseco, Bo Jackson, Nolan Ryan, Roger Clemens, maybe Dwight Gooden.

These are hardly the six best players in baseball, but they are probably the six most interesting.

Darryl Strawberry, like him or not, is one dangerous dude. He has averaged 31 homers and 91 runs batted in. He’ll knock the coconuts off the Chavez palm trees, boy. He’ll park some baseballs off the Unocal 76 pump.

I don’t know what happens to Stan Javier now, and I guess we’ve just about seen the last of Jose Gonzalez, who might turn out to be the best baseball player nobody’s ever seen.

Maybe Javier could play center and Hubie Brooks could return to third base. Where that would leave Lenny Harris or Mike Sharperson, who knows?

But things change. Whoever thought the Dodgers could be so casual about telling players the likes of Gibson, Juan Samuel and Fernando Valenzuela to hit the road?

With luck, the Dodgers will save enough money to give Strawberry what he needs. Gibson has worn out his welcome. Samuel wasn’t here long enough ever to feel welcome. Valenzuela will always be welcome in Los Angeles, where he is loved, but the time has come for parting company professionally, unless he is agreeable to a monster pay cut.

My advice is:

Darryl!

Darryl!

Darryl!

It’s about time Dodger fans chanted his name enthusiastically, not sarcastically. About time he changes sides. If ever a player needed a change of scenery, it is this player. New York is driving him batty.

This town is your town, Straw. Come be safe at home, homeboy. You remember good old California. Subways here are submarine-sandwich shops, not filthy trains. Tabloids here are the Hollywood Reporter and Variety, not the New York Post. Broadway here is a nice, clean department store, not a street full of panhandlers and pretzel vendors.

And Darryl? Psst. Wait’ll you hear this part.

Eighty-one home games without an airplane buzzing over the stadium. Think about it.

And mmmm, lots of tasty Tommy Lasorda milkshakes, before and after the game. You finally would be the Straw that stirs the drink.

Of course, it doesn’t sound as though this decision is up to Darryl. This decision is up to the Dodgers.

To pay him like Jose or not to pay him like Jose, that is the question.

I hope they’re already sewing his name on a Dodger shirt.

$trawberry.