Have Holiday Catalogues, Will Buy

DEAR HOT SHOPPERS: This column is dedicated to those of you who believe the only way to tackle holiday shopping is to hole up at home, fire roaring in the fireplace, strains of Handel’s “Messiah” or the Temptations’ “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” playing in the background as you sip egg nog and glance through a catalogue.

Although we love shopping malls, we sometimes get a bit weary of seeing the same merchandise in every store.

So we’ve cased the season’s catalogue offerings and located some genuine finds. Here’s Part I of Hot to Shop’s Best of the Holiday Catalogues. (Part II next week.)

HEIFER HIP--Borrowing elements from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the Holy Cow catalogue has slapped a stunning, abstract cow graphic on a T-shirt, along with the words Adolescent Mootant Ninja Cattle and Cowabunga Dude . The shirt is 100% cotton and comes in adults’ and children’s sizes. As for moola, you’ll need $15, but there’s a bonus when you call (800) 543-COWS to order: You get to to hear Holy Cow owner Woody Jackson’s surprise bovine greeting.

PENGUIN ALERT--There’s not a whole lot a man can do to jazz up a tuxedo, but two interchangeable components are the cummerbund and bow tie. I. Magnin’s Holiday Stars catalogue offers a hand-painted silk tie and cummerbund set in a gold floral pattern on a black background. It’s $125 for the set. To order, call (800) 227-1125.

GLASNOST GOODIES--A unique catalogue comes from the Original Rooskie Trading Co., a Lexington, Ky.-based firm that specializes in imports from the Soviet Union. We especially liked a $46, hand-woven Bulgarian scarf incorporating the colors of the mountains surrounding the capital city of Sofia (black, russet, gold, fir and celeriac), and a set of four Soviet republic pins featuring the national embroidery patterns of various Soviet republics ($15). To order, call (800)-237-8400, Ext. 1.

TINKLING FINGERTIPS--Not since mood rings and edible underwear have clothes been as much fun as the Musical Touch Tune Gloves from the Hammacher Schlemmer holiday catalogue. Embedded in each fingertip is a computer chip that plays a note on the scale when pressed against a hard surface. With these $24.95 vinyl-and-rayon, blue-and-yellow gloves, which run on batteries, you can appear to be playing a piano with no keyboard. To order, call (800) 543-3366.

WILD WEST FOR LESS--We admire Ralph Lauren’s American Indian-inspired jackets and sarong skirts for fall, but we can’t find a bank that will give us a loan to pay for them. We did find a jacket in Victoria’s Secret English Christmas 1990 catalogue that, at $89, has the look for much less. It’s a wool/acrylic blend tailored jacket in a red, gold and black Navajo pattern. It has a notch collar and a single silver-tone conch button trimmed with rawhide. To order, call (800) 888-8200.