After Holidays, Slim Pickings

THIS WEEK’S MOVIES

It’s that time of the year when waistlines grow larger and the choice of new videocassettes becomes proportionately thin.

Thin and cruel.

Yes, it’s a painful choice when one of the two “top” new tapes available this weekend features the horror of campfire tales while the other simply features the horror of comedian Andrew Dice Clay trying to be an actor--supported by, gulp, Wayne Newton.

The incorrigible Clay promised to set the cinematic world afire with “The Adventures of Ford Fairlane” (CBS/Fox, $92.98, R), but the critics and the moviegoing public threw cold water on this confusing and unfocused comedy/drama about a sarcastic detective (Clay) investigating a murder in the world of rock ‘n’ roll. Pop-music fans can help allay the boredom by trying to spot Tone Loc, Morris Day and Sheila E.

The week’s other offering is “Grim Prairie Tales” (Academy, $89.95, R), in which a bounty hunter (James Earl Jones) tries to scare his frontier-traveling companion (Brad Dourif)--and us in the process--with some gruesome stories.

OTHER NEW VIDEOS

Facing the grim tape measure after too many holiday goodies? Two new tapes might help you cope with an expanded waistline:

“Kathy Smith’s Weight Loss Workout” (Media, $19.98) is the latest aerobics cassette from one of the most popular guides in the fitness field. The 76-minute video features both high-impact and low-impact workouts plus a section on “power foods.”

Another big name in video workouts, Jane Fonda, hosts “Fun House Fitness,” two 35-minute tapes directed at children. “Program 1” has kids ages 4 to 8 doing “The Penguin Dance” and “The Spider Crawl,” among other exercises. “Program 2” is for the over-7 crowd.