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Tiny Tokens of Charmed Lifestyles

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TIMES STAFF WRITERS

BEFORE YOU BRONZE YOUR REEBOKS . . . : With dethroned junk bond king Michael Milken safely behind bars(without his toupee, dining on tacos and Kool-Aid), what better time to reflect on the ‘80s, a decade marked by ostentatious consumption.

Bloomingdale’s By Mail spring catalogue remembers the decade’s pretensions with Peter Brams’ sterling silver charm bracelet featuring such ultra-yuppie trinkets as a convertible BMW, a copy of the Wall Street Journal, a bottle of Evian, a plate of pasta, a briefcase and a cappuccino machine. It’s sure to be a collector’s item. Can you just see your granddaughter inheriting this, asking, “Why did people drive expensive German sports cars and carry around bottles of water with funny-sounding names?” The bracelet sells for $99. To order, call: (800) 777-0000.

DEAR HOT: Do you guys ever go to the mall looking like slobs or do you get all dressed up, like it’s some big event?

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MISS STEIN SUGGESTS: Like it’s some big event? Of course it’s a big event, and you should dress accordingly. Not that I think shopping is akin to an Easter Parade; you should think of dressing up more for yourself than for others. After all, if you’re trying on clothes and you have hairy legs, no makeup and your hair is a rat’s nest, not even this season’s Armani at 80% off is going to look good.

MISS KRIER BEGS TO DIFFER: Sorry, Jeannine, not everybody aspires to be a “Star Search” spokesmodel. I’m not recommending that shoppers gross themselves or anybody else out, but shopping is a recreational activity and I dress for it as such. It’s great--particularly after a week of wearing business clothes--to cruise through a mall on the weekend in sweats, little makeup and clean, rat’s nest-free hair.

DEAR HOT: I understand that Loehmann’s--a.k.a. my second home--is now accepting returns. What possessed them to change their policy? What’s next? Individual dressing rooms? Valet parking? Catered lunches?

DEAR HOT SHOPPER: Last month, Loehmann’s did indeed start to accept returns. But, cautions Sue Birdwell, assistant manager of the Park-La Brea Loehmann’s in Los Angeles, “We give store credit. We don’t give cash back. It started on Feb. 16 for the seven Southern California stores only.” Gradually, she adds, all 108 stores will adopt the policy.

How ‘bout the private dressing rooms, valet parking and catered lunches?

“I don’t think so,” Birdwell says. “Gotta keep the prices down low somehow.”

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