All That He Needed to Know Was the Norman Conquest

Brian Quinn, the native of Belfast, Northern Ireland, who has helped the San Diego Sockers win six indoor soccer championships in the last seven years, was sworn in as a U.S. citizen Friday.

For Quinn, who came to the United States in 1981 to play for the Los Angeles Aztecs of the North American Soccer League, it was the end of a long process that included hours of study for the interview-oral test.

“He passed with flying colors,” said Lauren Mack of the INS. “In fact, they even wanted me to ask more questions. When it was over, (Quinn’s wife) Sharon said, ‘You’re not going to ask us to name the Great Lakes? We studied that for nothing?’ ”

Quinn said he passed on the basis of one answer.

“She asked me who the sexiest man in America was, and I said, ‘Stormin’ Norman.’ She said, ‘OK, you’re an American citizen now.’ ”

Add Sockers: Wes Wade, a San Diego forward, sustained a concussion in last Thursday’s playoff game against the St. Louis Storm, but Coach Ron Newman wasn’t overly sympathetic.

“We have to get medical clearance for him,” Newman said. “We may have to give him some time off to let his brain settle down. Or put it in a jar and look after it while he plays.”

Trivia time: Which running back had the best yards-per-carry average during the 10 years of the American Football League: Emerson Boozer, Clem Daniels, Cookie Gilchrist or Paul Lowe?

Kicking back: Scott Zolak was a water boy for the Monongahela (Pa.) High football team that included Joe Montana. Among Zolak’s duties was to run on the field and grab the tee after Montana kicked off.

Sunday, Zolak, a quarterback from Maryland, was drafted by the New England Patriots in the fourth round.

Shuffling Off: The NHL playoffs weren’t a pretty sight in Buffalo, N.Y. Forty-three percent of the Sabre season-ticket holders did not pick up their options for the playoffs, and the Auditorium had about 2,000 empty seats for each of the first two home games against Montreal. When the series ended with the Sabres losing at home in the final game, fans serenaded their own team with “Na, Na, Na, Hey, Hey, Goodby.”

As former Hartford Coach Harry Neale, now an announcer for Hockey Night in Canada, noted cynically: “Buffalo is going to have to do something here to take the fans out of the game.”

FYI: From Bob Hertzel of the Pittsburgh Press: “In 1920, the Brooklyn Dodgers and Boston Braves played a 26-inning game and used only three baseballs. Today they prepare five dozen balls for each game.”

Trivia answer: Lowe averaged 4.87 yards with the San Diego Chargers and Kansas City Chiefs.

Quotebook: Stan Belinda of the Pittsburgh Pirates, when asked if he would consider becoming a professional boxer, a sport he spent three years with in high school: “I think I’ll stick to this profession. I want to be talking when I turn 40.”