About this pig we bought a month...
About this pig we bought a month ago. He was a Berkshire. Very big and bright. If you were a pig, you might have called him handsome. We couldn’t decide. But he moved into our hearts, nonetheless, even though the Formidable Companion saw problems down the road.
“Why do we need a pig?” she asked.
We didn’t. That’s the beauty of it, we told her. What better reminder of all the things we don’t need in this world, than a pig lying on his porky side out by the compost heap? In Pasadena.
What prompted us to buy the pig--we referred to him as Big Guy--was a short article in the science section of a newspaper not too long ago that said pigs had not changed in 250,000 years. And since our life seemed to be spinning out of control at the time, well, a little symbol of stability couldn’t hurt, we thought.
Hence, Big Guy.
Some adjusting was necessary, on all sides. He ate all the pansies and petunias, and insulted both our cats. And he was never pleased with the mud we gave him.
Only one neighbor knew about him, but Al was from Iowa and we told him Big Guy was a 4-H experiment. We were bonding one day, as men who are neighbors often do, over the fence that separated our yards.
Al asked if we were having an existential crisis. We said yes. “A vague feeling of ennui.”
“Same here,” he said. “But my wife won’t let me have a pig.”
Days later, life with the Big Guy took a downturn. Our crisis deepened. The pig hardly moved. He was beginning to resemble our father-in-law.
Then the Formidable Companion sniffed the air and said Big Guy had to go.
“You haven’t left the house in over a week,” she said. “Make plans. Life is too precious to sit around watching him eat vegetable scraps.”
She was right. We and the Big Guy were both wallowing.
That was in April. Last we heard, the pig had an agent.
KTNQ and KLVE will sponsor a Cinco de Mayo celebration with Latino bands on Santa Monica Pier at noon today. Admission is free. For information call (213) 465-3171.
Wildwood School’s “Imagine a Circus” will be held at 11 a.m. today with a mariachi band, guests “Bart Simpson” and emcee Martin Mull. The school is at 3111 Olympic Blvd., Santa Monica. Admission is free. For information, call (213) 829-4353.
Older Adult Service and Informational Systems will register students for cultural, educational and physical fitness classes at 10:30 a.m. Tuesday and Wednesday at the May Co., 6067 Wilshire Blvd, Los Angeles. Fees vary. For information call (213) 931-8967.
The Academy of Television Arts & Sciences will present “Children’s Television: The State of the Art,” a discussion about programming issues for children. It will be held at 9 a.m. Saturday at the Beverly Hilton, 9876 Wilshire Blvd., Beverly Hills. Admission is $10. For information, call (818) 953-7575.
The city of Beverly Hills is organizing an adult volleyball league to play a 10-game season. Team applications are available by calling (213) 550-4823. Games will be played at Beverly Hills High School at 6:30 p.m. Thursdays. Entry fees are $150 per resident team, $200 per non-resident team.
