Canal Zones : Sampling Scenery, Grand Cuisine and History on Three European Waterways : France’s Champagne Country

Grapes to the left of us, grapes to the right of us.

And straight ahead, a narrow stretch of water with a surface smooth as glass, bordered by bright foliage and dimpled with sunlight.

The barge Linquenda, all 112 feet of it, glided solidly and slowly down the river, its massive hulk of yellow and black metal trailing a plume of exhaust, its nose upturned, its middle fat and wide and low in the water, its stern capped with a little wooden wheelhouse.

To the fishermen who camped by the water’s edge with their lines lazily cast, the Linquenda was just another barge passing by. Freighter barges are commonplace on this winding section of the Marne River, lugging their cargoes from Germany or Belgium or the Netherlands across the Continent. The fishermen could not have cared less that the Linquenda was hauling people instead of coal or petrol. Mostly they dozed on the riverbank because here in champagne country, fishing is not a way to make a living but an excuse to take a nap or sit in the sun.

The 13 vacationing passengers aboard the Linquenda last fall--six American couples and I--were gathered on the sun deck in midafternoon. We read or snapped pictures of the stunning colors of the vineyards or snoozed on the Astroturf-covered deck. Every so often a fast train clacked past. Sometimes a poodle barked when we passed a town, or when a fighter jet on maneuvers rocketed overhead.

It was a peaceful time of the day, still too early to think about dinner, nearly time for tea and biscuits. Lunch a couple of hours earlier--I forget if lunch that day was cheese souffles or salmon--and the accompanying wine had made us mellow. The big concern of the day was our next destination: At sunset we were to arrive at Damery, a sleepy town just west of Epernay, which, along with Ay and Reims, is one of Champagne’s “capital” cities.

Once the Linquenda tied up at a dock, there would be just enough light for a bike ride into town--the barge’s three-speed bike was missing two speeds, but it was serviceable--before cocktails.

Then there would be dinner, conversation, perhaps a round of Trivial Pursuit, and early to bed as the Linquenda rocked us to sleep.

A barge cruise on the waterways of Europe is life in the finesse lane. Uttering the word aerobics is forbidden. Not a casino to be found. Ditto for TVs, radios or phones. No health clubs. No bingo. No discos, no dance contests. But if your definition of civilization is three fine meals a day, a modicum of pampering, a deck chair in the sun and the daily option to tour a war memorial or a cathedral or sip some vintage champagne at a tasting in Moet & Chandon’s cellars, a week on the Champagne waterways is civilized indeed.

There are dozens of companies that operate European canal barge hotels during the season, which is generally from April through October. Burgundy, Bordeaux, Alsace-Lorraine and Provence in the south of France are the most popular destinations. Champagne is a relatively new routing for the Linquenda’s Floating Through Europe company, but it has been a successful draw and has been offered again for this season, said Jennifer Ogilvie, president of the 15-year-old New York-based company.

Barging in France is not bargain cruising: $2,000 per person in a double cabin is a ballpark figure for a six- or seven-day trip, then add air fare and at least a night or two on both ends of the cruise. But figure that with most hotel-barge operators, all food, wine and excursions are included in the package price. From the time we were shuttled by minivan from the Paris Hilton to the Linquenda, until our return a week later, money was something you kept packed.

The eight cabins on the split-level Linquenda accommodated six doubles and two singles (the vacant second single on ours was appropriated by the chef). Because this is a cruise ship of sorts, space is spare. You don’t pack much. Not because the cabins are closets--they’re not--but because a good book, binoculars, a woolly sweater and a pair of sneakers are the major requirements. Sure, there’s the end-of-the-week “gala” dinner--seven courses--but a jacket and tie or a dressy dress are strictly optional.

Peter Hugman was our captain. He was also our host, occasional tour guide and sometime van driver. Hugman, a Yorkshireman with an abominable French accent and a rather sarcastic bent to his sense of humor, had 12 years’ experience on barges.

His domain was the Linquenda’s pilot house, which was not off limits to passengers. Indeed, we were encouraged to visit and even take the wheel for a while. The route there was off the sun deck, through the dining salon, past the bar and into the galley. The galley smelled of fragrant onions and fresh bread, which was as it should be, because every morning chef Helen Folkner or our hostesses, Susan Grager and Nicole Mourguiat, drove to the local village patisserie for croissants and baguettes.

With his tools--navigational maps, binoculars and notebook log--on a counter before him, Hugman balanced on a bar stool and steered with his feet tucked into the spokes.

He was well-versed in his vessel’s history: built in Holland in 1902, served as a freighter for decades, converted into a hotel barge in England in 1977--plying the Thames before moving into French waters for her current owners--and refurbished last year.

Hugman was also comfortable guiding his passengers through an exhibit of papillons (butterflies) in a Chalons-sur-Marne museum (though many of us would have preferred visiting a cafe or the Au Printemps department store) or driving us through lush vineyards and describing the vagaries of growing champagne grapes.

The champagne flowed when we boarded the Linquenda on our first night, the barge moored on the calm Marne in Chateau-Thierry, about 90 miles from Paris. The town is known for its castle of the same name (for an 8th-Century Frankish king) and its proximity to the Belleau Woods, scene of some of the fiercest fighting between the German and Allied armies during World War I.

Conversation at dinner was typically predictable as we gathered over filet de boeuf with Roquefort sauce. If our natural uneasiness--being strangers thrown together in close quarters--hadn’t evaporated by dessert, it melted away with the after-dinner Armagnac. One thing we had in common was that we were Americans. The cardiologist, Alan Hyman, had a wife, Joan, who was a travel agent. The Hymans had children, as did the Drews, the Charamellas, the Goldlusts (Syd and Barbara) and the Borlands (Jack and Susie), and it was hard for me to keep track of whose kids did what, and where, and why.

Half-day tours occupied most of our days. Usually we were off in the minivans after breakfast, driving through the steep champagne vineyards carved into the hillsides, visiting war memorials, stopping at stately homes. At Conde-en-Brie, southeast of Chateau-Thierry, we toured the Chateau Conde-en-Brie, a grand if slightly tattered home that dated to the 14th Century.

Another day our destination was the charming hillside town of Hautvillers and the Benedictine abbey of St. Pierre d’Hautvillers, where, in the 17th Century, Dom Perignon developed the cuvee process of fermenting champagne.

The tour through some of Moet’s cellars in Epernay--there are 18 miles of them built into the chalky, musty soil of Champagne--was a formal, guided affair, highlighted by a tasting of the Brut Imperial in a lovely garden.

Our eastbound journey turned north the next day at Conde-sur-Marne. The Linquenda moved into the narrow Canal de l’Aisne, a man-made concrete channel with just enough width for two barges to pass.

We climbed through eight locks to the Billy-Le-Grand tunnel carved under a highway. A few miles farther on was Reims. To prepare for Reims, we lunched on a marvelously creamy chicken and leek soup, washed down with a white Graves, 1989 vintage.

Mix classic Gothic architecture with champagne grapes and you have got Reims. Call it what you will--the English spell it Rheims, the French pronounce it Chrans --Reims has terrific champagne houses (Ruinart, Pommery, Tattinger) and an exhilarating cathedral. It is the “town of coronations,” where French kings were crowned for centuries.

We were truly returned to commerce in Reims. The shops were fat and glossy, and there was even a Marks & Spencer. I wandered in a wonderful cafe that seemed more Austrian than French, but the eclair was state-of-the-art Gallic.

There was no time, though, for a night on the town, and precious little for an afternoon. That evening was to be our last supper before the return to Paris.

Gussied up (the pretty dresses and coats and ties and jewelry came out that last night; even the captain wore a tie), we arrived in the dining room to find that the five dining tables were lined up to form one table.

Before each passenger was a napkin, a red rose, five wine glasses, five knives, four forks and one soup spoon. Candles, baskets of bread and pitchers of water also adorned the table.

The meal included a brioche stuffed with chicken and mushrooms. Onion soup. A Burgundy noir. Salmon pate. Goat cheese and radicchio with slivered almonds. A white wine. Baked quail. A marvelously strong petit Muenster cheese with a soft orange rind. A gooey dessert. More wine.

There were toasts, music from a cassette player, much laughter. Our Linquenda family was not mushy about coming to the end, though. Another day or two of Folkner’s cooking, we agreed, would be too much.

But we had seen a part of France in fine focus; that was one of the delights of barge cruising. It was an experience of sights and sounds and tastes--tastes especially--that would come flooding back each time we popped a champagne cork.

GUIDEBOOK

European River Cruises

Some companies have been offering cruises along Europe’s canals and rivers for years; others are relatively new. Most have reservation offices or toll-free numbers in the United States. A sampling:

--Abercrombie & Kent, 1520 Kensington Road, Oak Brook, Ill. 60521, (800) 323-7308. Luxury canal cruising in France, England, Belgium, the Netherlands.

--B&D; de Vogue International, P.O. Box 1998, Visalia, Calif. 93279, (800) 727-4748. This new association operates eight small barges running six-night cruises in France and the Netherlands.

--Europamerica Cruises, 500 Fifth Ave., New York 10110, (212) 719-1200. A variety of river cruises through Eastern Europe--Hungary, Czechoslovakia, Bulgaria and Romania--plus France, Austria and Germany.

--Floating Through Europe, 271 Madison Ave., New York 10016, (800) 221-3140. A selection of journeys on luxury barges through the canals of France, plus itineraries in England, Belgium and the Netherlands.

--French Country Waterways, P.O. Box 2195, Duxbury, Mass. 02331, (800) 222-1236. France-only canal cruises through Burgundy and Alsace aboard the company’s four luxury hotel barges.

--French Cruise Lines, 701 Lee St., Des Plaines, Ill. 60016, (800) 222-8664. Two 100-passenger river vessels cruise Normandy, Burgundy and Provence on three- , six- and seven-night sailings April through October.

--International Cruise Center, 250 Old Country Road, Mineola, N.Y. 11501, (800) 221-3254.

Canal cruises in England and France, plus river journeys on the Danube and Volga and on the Black Sea.