FASHION : Flair Dresser : Admitting to a secret search for a unique personal look--something like Annie Hall--provides a sense of relief.

Afriend called the other day. Seems the relationship she had so much hope for didn’t work out. It turned out that the guy had a live-in boyfriend. The whole incident, she said, proved to her that she had a problem choosing suitable partners. She was calling to tell me she had joined a new group based on the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, called Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous.

I’d never heard of it, but it seemed to me people who joined had to be going to the meetings because they were really looking for help and not with ulterior motives, since this didn’t strike me as the best place to shop for a healthy relationship. It would be like looking under movie theater seats for a fresh stick of gum.

My friend then suggested that I might benefit from going to the meetings as well. Before I made up my mind, she said, why didn’t I first answer a few questions from the organization’s brochure?

“Have you ever been in a relationship with someone you knew wasn’t good for you?” she asked.

Well, yes, I answered. But that’s why I got a divorce.

She ignored my explanation. “Have you ever been attracted to someone you knew was inappropriate?”

Yes, I answered again. But so was Lady Chatterly. No one made HER go to a self-help group.

My friend snorted with frustration. “I think you’re totally in denial,” she said. “Everyone has problems. Can you tell me even one area of your life you could improve?”

I thought about this for a minute. Then, as the answer hit me, I felt the weight of my secret being lifted from my shoulders.

“Panache,” I said. There was a long silence on the other end of the phone. “You know,” I explained, “flair in the way I dress. Individuality, like Annie Hall, or Meryl Streep in ‘Out of Africa.’ A unique personal style all my own.”

There was a pause, then my friend spoke in a low voice. “There is no kind way to tell you this,” she said slowly. “But you are beyond superficial.”

“It’s my job,” I said.

That night, I dreamed I had mistakenly entered a meeting of Editors Anonymous. One woman, her head lowered, spoke softly to the group. “I’m Kathy, and I’m an editor,” she said. “I’ve mentally edited billboards and menus and my children’s homework for as long as I can remember.” Another group member broke in brusquely. “There’s got to be a punchier way of saying that,” he said. I woke up in a cold sweat.

Obviously my subconscious was trying to tell me that I needed to take my own problem more seriously. But since I hardly expected to find a self-help group for mediocre dressers in the Yellow Pages, I knew there would have to be another way.

That’s when, as if in answer to a prayer, I got a call from Georgia Madrid. Georgia told me she had a men’s and women’s resale store in downtown Ventura called Ladies and Gentlemen. Her main goal, she said, was to help people break out of their fashionless molds.

“Most women I talk to say they’d like to take more chances and develop their own style, but they don’t know how to start,” she said. “I help them do it bit by bit.”

The minute I walked into the store, I knew that help was in sight. Although I couldn’t immediately see the clothes on the racks that stretched out to the back of the store, the oddly mixed outfits pinned to the walls were nothing like anything I’d seen in department stores. They weren’t my cup of tea, but at least they didn’t look like cookie-cutter fashions.

And then there was Georgia. Never in a million years could I have worn what she was wearing--a Moroccan cotton dress and brightly beaded vest, along with an oversize straw hat with a black, beaded pin attached to the front. But it looked great on her.

She then told me the philosophy of the store. Many of the items had designer labels, but she was more interested in pieces that had personality.

Georgia looked at my own outfit--a denim dress, flat shoes and small stud earrings--and led me to the jewelry case. All of the pieces were handmade, ranging in price from $20 earrings to a $500 Egyptian bead necklace.

“Don’t be afraid of wearing big jewelry,” she said. “You have the face for it.”

Her fashion advice doesn’t come free. She charges $50 an hour for fashion consulting, which is subtracted from the first day’s purchases.

After I left, I had the sense that there was, indeed, hope for a person like me. All I had to do was remain mindful of my problem and take steps to correct it.

I’ve even thought of forming a group for people like me. First, though, we need our own bumper sticker.

“One Purchase at a Time.”

* THE PREMISE

Ventura County is teeming with the fashionable and not so fashionable. There are trend-makers and trend-breakers. There are those with style--personal and off the rack--and those making fashion statements better left unsaid. Twice a month, we’ll be taking a look at fashion in Ventura County--trends, styles and ideas--and asking you what you think. If you have a fashion problem, sighting or suggestion; if you know a fashion success or a fashion victim, let us know. We want to hear from you.