It was your basic Methodist wedding--except, perhaps,...

It was your basic Methodist wedding--except, perhaps, for the tattoo ring ceremony.

“I didn’t really feel any pain,” said the bride, Laura Stephens. “It just stung a bit on the back of my finger.”

In rites held at the Art to the Bone tattoo parlor in Hollywood (naturally), Stephens and groom Kevin Brady had black rings engraved on their fingers.

“We chose simple bands,” Brady said.

Naturally, it would have been bad luck to appear before the Methodist preacher with the rings already, uh, in place. So, as Brady explained it: “We stopped the ceremony where you normally exchange the rings. It took about 10 or 15 minutes to have them tattooed.”

Brady said he and his wife chose this type of ring because “a lot of people have a casual attitude about marriage--it’s so easy to get divorced. We did this so we’d be permanently stuck on each other. It’s an irreversible decision.”

Also, you would never have to worry about the ring falling into the drain while you were washing dishes.

Another shocking sign of the recession:

The West L.A. Veterinary Medical Center is now offering a 50% discount for dental work performed on Rover or Princess.

“Imagine living with someone who has never brushed their teeth or been to a dentist!!” says the vets’ ad. “Many might strive to keep their distance, but if we really care for that someone, we should offer help. . . . Many of our clients simply enjoy the fact that routine dentistries improve their pet’s bad breath.”

We just send ours away to camp.

Has L.A. changed since 1921? That year, a Times feature on “Vacation Resorts of Southern California” declared that the “most popular” spot was . . .

Westlake Park.

The article said that “90%” of L.A.’s tourists visit the park, located “in the finest residence and apartment house district” of the city. Attractions included “100 canoes and 70 boats for hire . . . music on the lake every evening . . . and the new $50,000 pavilion . . . the home of the famous ‘Martha Washington’ Country Chicken Dinner . . . served either in the beautiful dining room or on the awning-covered piazza.”

We hate to break the spell by mentioning that the romantic Westlake Park of the 1920s, since renamed, is the crime-ridden MacArthur Park of the 1990s.

And, now, we introduce our newest feature: Weird or Embarrassing Internal Memo of the Week (notices meant only for employees that are sent to us).

The code of conduct for the Marriott Corp.’s concession stand workers at Dodger Stadium includes this commandment:

“Begin with a greeting such as ‘Welcome to Dodger Stadium’ or ‘Welcome to Marriott.”’

Let’s all sing together now:

“Take me out to the corporation. . . .”

miscelLAny:

In “Whittier College,” author Charles Elliot Jr. points out that poet John Greenleaf Whittier was offered a free lot in 1887 if he would move from Massachusetts to the city that took his name. He never even visited.