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Wait ‘Til the Union Hears About This:...

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Compiled by MICHELLE WILLIAMS

Wait ‘Til the Union Hears About This: According to Reuters, nurses at a Tasmanian psychiatric hospital are being forced to work under harsh conditions. Seems there’s a ghost running around who likes to throw nurses against the wall. A throwee--a male nurse whose name has not been released--is undergoing counseling and has been transferred to another hospital. “We don’t know much about the apparition, whether it is a man or woman or whatever,” says government spokesman Neil Sparks. Betcha Ghostbusters would.

Could Be Water Gain: Ling-Ling, the most famous female panda in the universe, could be preggers, according to her publicists at Washington’s National Zoo. Then again, maybe not. What zookeepers do know is that Ling-Ling and her main squeeze, Hsing-Hsing, mated this spring. And Ling-Ling has since shown signs of panda pregnancy. Then again, maybe not. According to the experts, signs of a false pregnancy are essentially the same and Ms. Ling has had four of those--of that we’re sure.

Quoting: “For me, this is my fantasy.” So says former super-model Carol Alt, who quit modeling full-time in 1985 to become an actress. Now, Alt is adding singing to her resume--and perhaps “I Don’t Care” to her repertoire. Alt says models take a lot of heat and expects to feel it as an ex-bigtime model who sings and acts. But she won’t be intimidated. “I don’t care what the critics say because I’m out there and I’m vulnerable and I’m open to criticism,” she said in an interview on “A Current Affair.”

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Quoting II: “When I started, baseball was played by nine tough competitors on grass in graceful ballparks. By the time I was finished, there were 10 men on each side, the game was played indoors, on plastic, and I had to spend half of my time watching out for a man dressed in a chicken suit who kept trying to kiss me.”--ex-American League umpire Ron Luciano quoted in the San Francisco Chronicle.

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