COMEDY REVIEW : Rivers Still Talking, Crowds Still Laughing

When Joan Rivers asks “Can we talk?” during her concerts, thesmart answer, if you are sitting in the front row, is no, no, no. Unless, of course, you are willing to discuss the most intimate details of your life with her and everyone in attendance.

But Monday night at Humphrey’s 7 p.m. show, some people up front didn’t just say no, and a near-capacity crowd of about 1,100 was treated to an intimate glimpse into their lives, including their views on sex, birth control, marriage, feminine products and more.

After getting on her knees to examine a woman’s wedding ring up close, Rivers was incredulous to find out she would accept such a small ring.

Why, she wondered incredulously, do women accept these small rings?

“Get the big rings,” she implored. “Big rings mean you’re good in bed.”

“I feel very close to you, Stewardess Nancy,” Rivers told one of three women she had picked out from the front row. “Do you like the pill? I used a coil once, but every time I crossed my legs the garage door opened.”

Much of the catty comic’s material was coarse, but the crowd didn’t seem to mind. In fact, they loved it. From the first joke about Imelda Marcos to the final farewell, constant laughter filled the venue.

“I’m so glad I didn’t sit in the front row,” one woman said after the performance.

The show was also a learning experience as Rivers, who also performed at 9 p.m., shared her secrets for landing the right man. Love, she insists, has no place in romance. “No! No! No!”

Use your looks and sex to reel in money, she says, big money. Looks and sex are how you get what you want. “Education? I spit on education!”

Rivers, with her trademark raspy voice, is Everywoman letting loose. While Roseanne speaks for working-class mothers and women, Rivers (in her mid 50s) represents women who are a little more aware, a little more upscale. They’re looking for more than just an existence.

Her rambling act took no real direction while she used a machine-gun delivery for almost 60 minutes to mimic Barbara Bush having sex, to mention that LBJ’s daughters were an ad for abortion and to call Marilyn Quayle the meanest white woman on earth.

Toward her fans, however, Rivers was always gracious, taking the interruptions of flower-bearers and well-wishers in stride, even stopping the show to accommodate them. Rivers returned the favors by giving them potted palms and flowers that decorated the stage on both sides. By show’s end, she was wrestling a small potted tree across the stage for someone up front.

Laughing and smiling throughout the show, the energetic Rivers appeared to be enjoying herself as much as her fans, whom she thanked sincerely afterward for sticking with her in the mid ‘80s when she hit a low point in her life and career: She was fired from her late-night talk show on the Fox network and her husband of 22 years killed himself. She has put that behind her and has gotten her career moving again, including her daytime talk show and a TV movie, “How to Murder a Millionaire” last May on CBS.

It was difficult to tell who was more appreciative, the star or the crowd.

Wearing a floor-length black skirt she later removed to reveal a skin-tight, black-and-beige mini-dress, Rivers moved nonstop from side to side on the stage, lounging occasionally on a black bar stool. Also on stage was a 13-piece orchestra that remained noticeably silent most of the show, except to play “Battle Hymn of the Republic” during a Rivers’ spoof.

Her show is a raunchy, ribald affair. Parts of it aren’t tasteful. But she pulls it off. If others do the same bits, they are crude. When Rivers does them, it’s a case of “I can’t believe she said that.”

Monday night, her fans loved her for it. No one in the largely middle-class audience (about half men, half women) seemed offended by the earthy tone. It was quite the opposite.

She runs her routine along a brink of outrageousness and disaster. One slip can send the good-taste meter spinning.

Yes, she is acerbic. Yes, she does have a mean streak. Yes, some of her barbs hit below the belt.

But mix it all together, and Rivers has a fine blend.

“I love her because she laughs at herself,” one woman said after the show. “She makes me smile.”

She might not make Imelda Marcos or Barbara Bush smile, though. But that’s OK. They don’t need to. They married well.