A Refuge for the Troubled : Counseling: A youth shelter in Laguna Beach gives children the chance to work things out in a safe environment.

There is nothing remarkable about the Community Service Program Youth Shelter, at least not from the outside.

Tucked into a quiet residential neighborhood near the ocean, the gray, two-story house blends into the surroundings with its neatly mowed lawn and trimmed hedges, white eaves and back-yard basketball hoop.

There are no identifying signs. During the day, its curtains are open and the shelter’s six residents can be seen from the street as they do their assigned chores or sit in the living room to talk with their counselors.

But as unremarkable as the structure appears, the directors say it has been a haven for troubled children between the ages of 11 and 17. The only temporary shelter of its kind in South County--operating in its present location since 1985--directors over the weekend launched a fund-raising effort to meet the nonprofit shelter’s $300,000 annual budget.

Shelter directors, who brought in television and sports celebrities for a tennis tournament that ended Sunday and raised $3,000, say they want to maintain a comfortable environment for the youngsters so that counselors can help them work through their troubles.

“Our doors are open, so the children have to want to be here or they will just leave,” Judy Friesen, the shelter’s program director said. “And we want to give the children a sense of structure and family, something that they may be missing at home, and show them what it is like to live in a quiet family setting where people cooperate.”

The shelter, which receives funding from five South County cities, the county, private donors and from fees charged to the children’s families, is open to people from all income levels. The fees are based on a sliding scale, with children from low-income families being allowed to stay for $1 a week. Children of single parents who earn more than $4,000 a month are charged $441 a week.

Most of the 300 children who use the shelter annually have recently run away from home, and about 25% of the residents are taken there by law enforcement authorities, Friesen said. But the shelter does not accept youngsters who have committed serious crimes--most have no police records--and those with hard-core drug or alcohol addictions are referred elsewhere.

Parents must agree to attend twice-weekly counseling sessions with their children at the shelter, while the youngsters also receive daily group counseling and two or three weekly, individual sessions with counselors. The average stay is 10 days, with the maximum at 30 days.

“We get children from all socioeconomic backgrounds,” Friesen said. “Poor families and rich families can have serious family problems.”

Friesen said 75% of former shelter residents report their family situations as satisfactory 180 days after leaving.

“We want the children and the parents to see the time in the shelter as a ‘time out,’ a cooling off period so that both sides can think about their situation,” Friesen said. “We hope that the shelter will bring to the families new tools so that they can cope with crises.”

On a recent afternoon, Jennifer and Jodie, both 15 years old, sat in the peach-colored bedroom they shared, playfully chucking a small stuffed bear at each other. It was their second day at the shelter.

Jennifer, who spent two weeks at the shelter last summer, frequently runs away from home, and Jodie said she has contemplated doing so. Both say they have frequent arguments with their parents, claim to be mentally abused, cut school and admit to occasionally using alcohol and marijuana.

Both said they hope that their stay will lead to an understanding with their parents, if not a complete reconciliation.

“I don’t think my parents listen to how I feel, and I need somebody to step in for me,” said Jennifer, who lives in Garden Grove with her parents and two younger sisters. “The counselors here, they listen.”

Jodie said her divorced mother had a baby at 15, and fearing that Jodie will too, has placed tight restrictions on her. Going to live with her father is not an option, Jodie said, because she fears that she could be beaten. She is the youngest of three children.

“I tell my mom that I don’t sleep around . . . but she won’t listen,” Jodie said. “Nobody ever listens to me and never tries to understand me.”

So she writes poetry.

“It’s a way to express my feelings,” she said. “It’s usually sad poetry because I’m usually sad.”

Before they are admitted to the shelter, children must agree to obey several house rules. Smoking is permitted outdoors, but only with parental permission. Telephone calls can be made only to friends approved by parents, and the calls are limited to five minutes.

Chores must be completed on time or privileges are revoked. Children cannot leave the premises without an adult, except to attend school, where daily attendance checks are made. The time children watch television is monitored. Soap operas and the rock video channel MTV are banned.

“I think MTV and the soaps reinforce negative images,” Friesen said. “It’s just my thing.”

Friesen said the counselors’ goal is to stay impartial in the disputes between parents and children and to be blunt and honest with both. Most problems, she said, can be traced to poor communication skills on both sides.

“Most of the time, the parents and children still love each other,” she said. “But the parents were usually yelled at themselves when they were children, so that is the only way they know how to parent. And many of the children are impulsive and have problems controlling their anger.

“But we never turn anybody away because their parents won’t pay.”

The shelter has a paid staff of four full-time and 11 part-time employees plus 20 volunteers, who tutor, shop for the shelter and teach the children arts and crafts.

Children sleep in three neat but modestly decorated bedrooms. Two upstairs bedrooms are decorated in pastels for girls; one in the basement has a blue decor for boys.

“Generally, we have more girls than boys staying here at any one time,” Friesen said. Both she and Margot Carlson, the Community Service Program’s executive director, believe that parents are more apt to act when a daughter runs away.

“Society treats boys and girls differently,” Carlson said. “Parents believe their daughters are at a much higher risk when they run away than they do their boys. So when a girl runs away, they are more likely to call the police.”

Ann, 12, and Wendy, 14, were each spending their third day at the shelter.

Wendy, who has blue streaks in her black hair and a gold stud in her nose, said her mother does not approve of her dress or her friends. Wendy, who is an only child, has not seen her father since she was 5. She recently ran away for more than two months. An underground network of friends housed and fed her to keep her off the streets.

“My mom thinks I dress like a slob and a weirdo, and because I have more friends who are boys than girls,” she said. “I already have the rest of my life planned. I’m going to graduate at 17, apply for a job at the post office and then move out with my friends.”

As Wendy talked, Ann quietly sat cross-legged on her bed, her back against the wall. A plastic bandage decorated with Disney characters was wrapped around one finger. One of seven children, Ann was back at the shelter after fleeing it for a week. She had been there for a day.

“I felt trapped,” she said.

Her arguments with her parents, she said, center on her boyfriend. But running away and the shelter’s counseling have helped her relationship with her parents, she said.

“Things have kinda gotten better with them since I came back here,” she said. “We are getting kinda close.”