IN EXCESS

I don’t mind getting a ticket for parking with my wheels turned the wrong way, for backing into a head-in parking space or for not putting money in a meter that still has time on it. But I draw the line at getting a ticket for parking in my own driveway in the Marina. I gather from the acronym-spangled citation that the scene of the crime was the five inches of my back bumper that hung over the sidewalk. Unintentionally, I might add. I realize that the intent of this piece of legislation is to keep the sidewalk clear, and I am all for pedestrians’ rights. But this particular ticket was issued at 3:12 a.m. What hazard did those five inches really pose? How did the officer even notice? Do parking cops ever sleep? Was nothing else shaking on a Tuesday night? Is the Marina really that boring? I called the number on the ticket for answers but in three hours couldn’t reach one carbon-based voice. Perhaps the L.A. Parking Violations Bureau is staffed with vampires.