In the Halls of Ivy, Columbia Is No Worse Than 21st in Land

Oregon State is the worst team in college football, according to Penthouse magazine’s “20 Worst Teams” list, in the October issue.

Cincinnati is No. 2, followed by Boston College, Southern Methodist, Cal State Fullerton, Northwestern, Vanderbilt, Akron, New Mexico and Northern Illinois.

Columbia, 1-9 last year, is off the list after seven years. Not that the Lions are improving, though.

“They are atrocious, even by Ivy League standards,” the magazine said.

Trivia time: What was Joe DiMaggio’s salary in 1941, and what kind of a raise did he get after hitting safely in 56 consecutive games, hitting .357 and driving in 125 runs?

Tough job: The trainer, not the coach, has been blamed for a German soccer team’s disappointing start.

Fortuna Dusseldorf sacked trainer Josef Hickersberger on Wednesday. The 43-year-old Austrian was blamed for the club’s miserable start to the season.

After a 3-1 defeat by Borussia Moenchengladbach Tuesday, Fortuna still hasn’t scored a point in six games.

For what it’s worth: An average of one new major stadium will open every year in the United States for the next 10 years, according to an Associated Press study. Also, 11 new NBA arenas are to be built over the next decade.

Impostor!: The New Orleans Saints apparently were duped last week by a Hank Williams Jr. impostor who visited the team and shook hands with players and coaches.

The real Hank Williams Jr., a country-western singer, wasn’t happy about the ruse.

“It’s embarrassing,” Williams said in Nashville, Tenn. “I love the Saints.”

The deception began Thursday with a bikini contest at Morten Andersen’s Champions Sports Bar. Andersen booked celebrity judges for the contest, including the man believed to be Williams.

The impostor judged Thursday night, then visited the Saints for an hour Friday, shaking hands and posing for pictures. One photograph, with Coach Jim Mora, appeared in the Times-Picayune.

“Be careful who you trust,” Williams said. “There have been so many impostors over the years. If someone comes up and says he’s Hank Williams Jr., make him take off his glasses and count the stitches in his head.”

Williams suffered eye and head injuries in a fall down a mountain in 1975, and is scarred from several operations.

Relax, Elg: Former Laker Rod Hundley, describing 1960s NBA travel on DC3s and teammate Elgin Baylor’s fear of flying: “Elg rode very straight, one hand clutching the armrest, the other his wallet. In the air, he got religion. We used to sneak up behind him and croon in his ear a couple of choruses of ‘Nearer My God to Thee.’ ”

Trivia answer: $37,500 in 1941, $42,000 in 1942.

Quotebook: Denver Bronco Coach Dan Reeves on openers: “Every time we’ve lost the opener, we haven’t made the playoffs. We even lost the opener one year and went 11-5 and didn’t make the playoffs.”