Being a Long Hitter Has Its Shortcomings

Celebrity cuts both ways, as John Daly can attest. Since his stirring victory in the PGA, he has been wined, dined and signed, but it may have taken a toll of his game.

The New York Times put together this itinerary:

Aug. 11--Wins PGA by three shots.

Aug. 12--Agrees to multiyear deal with Reebok. Flies to Denver to play in International tournament.

Aug. 14--CBS crew tapes him driving on runway at airport. Longest shot goes 800 yards (including the roll).

Aug. 17--Eliminated from International.

Aug. 18--Attends Denver Bronco practice, kicks five consecutive field goals.

Aug. 20-21--Does photo shoot for Golf Digest, turns down “Tonight Show” appearance and invitation to attend Ryder Cup as unofficial team member.

Aug. 22--Does interview for Sports Illustrated story, shoots 80 in first round of World Series.

Aug. 31--Goes to Fayetteville, Ark., for breakfast with Frank Broyles; attends Arkansas-Miami game.

Sept. 6--Declines President Bush’s invitation to state dinner at White House.

Sept. 14--Missed the cut in Hardees’ Classic.

Foghorn: At Dallas, the round mound of sound is the Cowboys’ 322-pound offensive guard Nate Newton, who can be counted on to speak in the tightest of situations.

This was Newton, worrying about Cowboy quarterback Troy Aikman, who was sacked 11 times by the Philadelphia Eagles last Sunday: “Do you have any kids? It’s like sending your kids out to play in the street.”

On his plans to prevent a recurrence: “All I can do is bring my big behind to work tomorrow.”

Pals: Rafael Palmeiro and Will Clark played together at Mississippi State on a team that also included Bobby Thigpen and San Francisco Giant reliever Jeff Brantley. But you might not want to invite them all to the same alumni function.

“We’re not close,” Palmeiro says of Clark. “We’re friends. We talk when we get together. But we were never close.

“He’s real arrogant, real cocky, which is fine. . . . When I’m talking with Clark, I feel like there’s this guy who thinks he’s God in front of me. Talking with Thiggy, it’s like we’re back in college again.”

Trivia time: Wilt Chamberlain holds the NBA record with 2,149 rebounds in a season. Who is second?

Trumpet: The Washington Redskins’ 3-0 start has pessimistic Coach Joe Gibbs squirming, but the Washington Post’s Tony Kornheiser is not as shy.

“Not a lot of teams pass by where you can honestly say: That’s a great one,” Kornheiser writes. “Great teams are worth getting excited over, even making a fool of yourself over.

“What if this is one of the precious few? You don’t have to wait to declare. This is football, not the Democratic primary.”

Mushmouth: Count Newsday’s Stan Isaacs among those unimpressed by former Giant coach Bill Parcells’ debut as a TV commentator.

Isaacs calls Parcells “a master of the if, (one who) has developed a pattern of declaring what will happen in upcoming games if certain things occur. Well, if my grandmother had wheels, Bill, she’d be a trolley car.

“(This) may be part of the flimflamming code by which coaches address the media, but it just won’t do for a so-called on-the-air expert.”

Isaacs lists these observations by Parcells, from Parcells’ Madison Square Garden network show:

--”If the Cards keep taking the ball away the way they have the past two weeks, it won’t be easy for the Redskins.”

--”If the 49ers keep getting the injuries they are getting, you can write it down, it won’t be their year.”

--”If New Orleans goes 3-0, that league can be topsy-turvy.”

--”If Cincinnati doesn’t improve defensively. . . . “

Says Isaacs: “Cliches abound. The obvious is smashed on the head. We are told ‘Green Bay needs an optimum effort.’ . . . ‘Dallas needs to win.’ . . . ‘Turnovers will decide the game.’ ”

Sounds like a long career.

Trivia answer: Chamberlain. He also had the Nos. 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 rebounding seasons. Bill Russell was No. 8.

Quotebook: Atlanta pitcher Steve Avery on the Braves’ rise: “It’s like a 360-degree turnaround. I mean a 180-degree turnaround. I only went to high school.”