Bly’s Concept of the ‘Wild Man’

Re: Suzanne Gordon’s “Positive Patriarchy” (Commentary, Sept. 6):

Gordon exhibits the same narrow, politicized view as Robert Bly, which keeps both from seeing that patriarchy is rooted in male weakness, not strength.

Men today have lost the simple capacity for mutual strength in relationships with women, because men have grown up with a physically and/or emotionally distant father. Thus, alone before the mother, who must take over roles abdicated by the father, the boy feels overwhelmed by the woman’s strength. Hence, patriarchy--the handiwork of defensive, fearful boys, not genuinely strong men.

Both men and women need to be strong for each other. Man or woman, a person’s brokenness must be exposed before it can be healed--and it is seen most clearly not by the person him or herself, but by the other who gets hurt by it. Love then requires strength not to dominate, but rather, to hold the other accountable. That strength has been the finest gift of the women’s movement to men, and, when seen as such, shall be the finest gift of the men’s movement to women.

GORDON DALBEY

Los Angeles