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The Speed of Time by Age

0-9: Extremely slow. Even a trip to the store with Mom seems like going to Albania--by covered wagon. Most common phrase: “Is it Christmas yet?”

10-19: Still slow. Scientific evidence mounts that school clocks actually move backward before bell rings.

20-29: Alternately fast and slow. Weekends seem shorter and shorter, yet paychecks seem further and further apart.

30-39: Time achieves warp speed, except when put on hold on telephone and forced to endure anything longer than 1.8 seconds of Muzak. Most common phrase: “Is it Christmas already?”

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40-49: Still fast. Seems like just yesterday when Jerry Brown said he might run for President. Wait a minute! It was yesterday when he said that. Also, Dick Clark still looks same. Could time be slowing down?

60-69: Hey! What happened to 50-59?

70+: Unbelievably fast. Wars used to last years. Now seem to be over in a couple of weeks.


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