High Life / A WEEKLY FOURM FOR HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS : Who Has Say in What Teens Buy?

Most parents know they’re supposed to give teen-agers some room to make their own money management decisions, reports Ladies’ Home Journal. Defining some is the tough part.

When a teen works--and more than 6 million of them do, with a median weekly earning of $83.37, according to recent figures from the bureau of Labor Statistics--can parents tell them how to spend?

“Absolutely,” says Laurence Steinberg, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Temple University and co-author of “You and Your Adolescent” (Harper-Collins, 1991). “Too many parents think they must take a hands-off attitude if a kid earns his own money. That’s only partially true--and it’s missing the point.

“The issue is not where the money comes from at all. Most 16- and 17-year-olds simply don’t have the experience to manage their money wisely.”

It’s a parent’s responsibility, then, to monitor their kids’ spending. The following steps will help parents and teens work out a system of money management.

Set up a reasonable, workable budget. Making a monthly budget will help a teen understand that if he wants to attend a concert, and the tickets cost $35 each, he’s going to have to give up something else for a few weeks.

Should a parent ever veto a child’s purchase?

“Certainly, if you think it might be dangerous or unwise,” says Steinberg. “A ninth-grader who wants to go away on an unchaperoned ski trip should be told no.”

Linda Barbanel, a psychotherapist in New York City, says: “When parents fight with their teens over money, it’s never really a fight over dollars and cents, it’s a fight about control--who gets it and who gives it up.”

Parents should suggest children consult with family elders on any purchase over $100.

Include teens in family financial discussions and plans.

“You don’t have to tell them every detail,” says Steinberg, but kids are more likely to appreciate the need for sound money management--and to accept limits on their spending--if they have an idea of what it costs to live.

Make sure he or she saves a portion of his or her earnings for some long-term goal. Steinberg suggests anywhere from 20% to 50%, if finances allow--for the senior class trip, for college or a down payment on a car.

“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.”

--Jackie Mason, comedian