AIDS Best Covered by a Parent-Child Discussion at Home

A decade into the AIDS era, studies about the disease and its prevention have become a generally accepted part of the public school curriculum. Most of the health courses that Los Angeles County students are obliged to take in seventh and 10th grades include a unit on acquired immune deficiency syndrome.

Still, this is a topic that is most effectively discussed at home, between parent and child.

Talking about AIDS with your children may seem a little awkward, but it could prevent undue panic or high-risk behavior on their part.

“The kids are all hearing things about AIDS on TV. . . . They’re going to have questions,” said Dr. Alison Erde, a family practitioner in Santa Monica. “It’s scarier not to know, not to have things discussed, and to let kids develop their own fantasies about this ‘horrible thing.’ ”

With that in mind, here are some suggestions for starting a discussion with your child.

First, decide how much detail you want to include. “That has a lot to do with how old and mature they are,” said Stephen Bennett, chief executive officer of AIDS Project Los Angeles. “But disclosing too much is always preferable to not disclosing enough.”

Also, make sure that your own information about AIDS is current and correct.

Explain, for example, that a person can only contract AIDS from an exchange of bodily fluids with someone who has the virus.

Bodily fluids include saliva, tears, blood, semen and vaginal secretions. Although the AIDS virus has been found in all of these, no transmissions by tears or saliva have been documented, according to Erde.

Kids should also know that some kinds of behavior may put them at a particularly high risk for AIDS. Near the top of the list is promiscuity, or sexual intercourse with someone who has been promiscuous. The more sexual partners one has, the greater the likelihood that one or more has been infected with the AIDS virus.

Also highly risky are male homosexual practices in which bodily fluids are exchanged, particularly anal intercourse, and intravenous drug use with shared needles.

At the same time, it is important that children and teen-agers know that, contrary to the beliefs of some parents and students, AIDS cannot be easily contracted at school.

AIDS cannot, for example, be caught by breathing the air, touching other people, drinking from water fountains, or by handling books, lunch trays, toys or desks.

Perhaps the most important fact to tell kids is that there is no known cure for AIDS.

“It’s a death warrant at this point in time,” Erde said.

Thus it is critical to make sure your son or daughter knows the facts and takes precautions.

Regardless of your moral views about premarital sex, I urge you to encourage celibacy for your child, since it is still the best protection against AIDS. In fact, celibate people compose the very lowest-risk group.

The reality, however, is that many kids are having sex, so they should use a condom during intercourse or oral sex, Bennett advises.

Although condoms have not been shown to be completely effective in preventing transmission of the AIDS virus, Erde says they may work a little better when used with a spermicidal jelly.

“The non-oxynol-containing spermicides have been shown to help kill the virus,” she said.

Talking about the dangers of sharing needles during drug use or other situations is also important.

“Unless your doctor is giving you a shot, you want to stay away from direct injections,” Bennett says.

Finally, let your child know your own feelings about AIDS, and explain that fear of the disease is actually healthy.

“You should be afraid,” Erde said. “If you’re not afraid, there’s something wrong.”

If you’re still uneasy about talking to your kids about AIDS, try using a good brochure to get things rolling.

Read the brochure, have your child read it, then ask him or her some general questions about it. A conversation will most likely develop from there.

For more information, or a free brochure aimed specifically at children and teen-agers, call AIDS Project Los Angeles at (800) 922-AIDS, or your local Red Cross.