Welcome to L.A.:Cousins Stephen and Frank Santoro...

Welcome to L.A.:

Cousins Stephen and Frank Santoro of Glen Head, N.Y., were taking a break from college in L.A. when they were given $10 jaywalking tickets last year.

Frank mailed in his fine but Stephen did not. The latter’s father, Thomas Santoro, attempted to plead not guilty by mail, telling the L.A. Municipal Court that jaywalking “in our area . . . is not an offense, or if it is, it is not enforced.”

Little did the elder Santoro know that jaywalking is zealously enforced in L.A.

In reply, Santoro received a letter advising him that “a court appearance is necessary or the amount indicated--$240--should be sent in to take care of this matter.”

“Can you believe it--$240 for jaywalking?” Thomas Santoro said via telephone. “Either that, or I spend $800 in air fare to fly my son out there.”

The elder Santoro is refusing to take either step.

His son could be arrested if he returned but says he’s had enough of L.A., anyway.

Luckily, for Stephen Santoro, L.A. has no extradition treaty for jaywalking.

The Great State of L.A. is an idea whose time apparently has not come. County Supervisor Kenneth Hahn, who delivered his statehood proposal last week, promptly dropped it Tuesday, figuring the joke had gone far enough.

In some ways, it’s a pity that L.A. won’t become the 51st state. Now we’ll never know whether Mayor Bradley would have run for governor.

While the issue is academic now, the debate rages over what L.A.’s official state bird would have been.

While the Audubon Society’s Charles Bragg previously suggested, among others, the starling (because of its “star” quality), Joanne Brigden of Ontario, Canada, says: “There’s only one bird for L.A.: the whirlybird, AKA the helicopter.”

While staying at a motel near Hollywood, she relates, “I thought I must be staying near a heliport. But, no, no matter which part of the city I’m in, it sounds like the opening of “M*A*S*H. . . .”

The L.A. statehood matter arose only after Redding Assemblyman Stan Statham proposed that California be divided into the states of Northern and Southern California. That issue is alive, at least technically.

Meanwhile, one merger of cities has apparently occurred. Paul Rayton of Mt. Washington was heading east on the Santa Monica Freeway on the day that Caltrans united Sacramento and Bakersfield (see photo).

Unless, Rayton adds, there’s now a Bakersmento, somewhere.

“Noon--Century City,” says UPI’s schedule of events for today. “Photo and interview opportunity with Japan’s ‘Shock Boys,’ a four-member troupe that performs bizarre stunts such as eating live scorpions, drinking dish washing liquid and playing Frisbee with circular chain saw. . . . Interpreter available.”

And, we hope, a doctor, too.

miscelLAny:

Gaylord Wilshire, the developer who laid out the boulevard of the same name before the turn of the century, was also an inventor. He marketed a magnetic collar that, when worn, could supposedly restore gray hair to its original color by magnetizing the iron in the blood and could also cure most ailments in humans (or dogs). The claims were later disproved.