CLIQUES

Guy ran like a gazelle,” says the man at the counter. “Almost gave me a coronary.”

“And you caught him?” exclaims the woman sitting next to him. “In those shoes?! I hope you squeezed the little. . . .”

Not exactly typical luncheon conversation. But then in this restaurant, 98% of the customers carry guns, so making something of it is not really an option. This is the Academy Cafe at the Los Angeles Police Department’s training academy in Elysian Park, the only restaurant in the city owned by the Los Angeles Police Revolver and Athletic Club.

If the uniforms didn’t tip you off, the menu would. We’re talking real food for real people: burgers, chicken fried steak, top sirloin. Reasonably priced, and plenty of coffee, not cappuccino. There are no quiches or croissants in sight.

If cop-watching is your hobby, this is the place to be. At noon, the eatery is jammed with officers--from grizzled detectives in gray suits and heavy shoes to trainees in jogging shorts and tennies. The walls are covered with pictures of graduating classes from the ‘20s, motor officers in antique Fords, the city’s mounted squad, Detective magazine covers and ancient badges. There’s even a trophy case dedicated to Jack Webb, Sgt. Joe Friday of “Dragnet,” filled with trophies, his original badge (No. 714), plaques and ID cards.

If you’re regretting that second order of fries, you can it work off by walking over to the shooting gallery on the hill. Civilians can watch the fun from an upstairs walkway; if you’re lucky, there might be a competition shoot featuring L.A.’s finest in progress.

As you might expect, the clientele goes “full force with the coffee,” says waitress and cashier Marilyn Paggi, “and they dive into the doughnuts pretty good--we run out of them every day.” And the three-year cafe veteran points out: “Despite the sound of gunfire in the background, you feel pretty safe eating here. I don’t worry about being mugged for my tips at the end of the shift.”