USC Could Use Robinson; the Rams Certainly Don’t

USC’s Trojans are 3-6, out of the running for a postseason invitation and headed for their worst season since 1957.

Anaheim’s Rams are 3-7, out of the running for a postseason invitation and headed for their worst season since 1990.

USC’s Trojans lost to Memphis State in their home opener, gave up 52 points to Cal and are in the midst of a four-game losing streak.

Anaheim’s Rams lost to Phoenix in their home opener, gave up 31 points to Atlanta and are in the midst of a four-game losing streak.

Situations:

Hapless?

Certainly.

Hopeless?

Hardly.

The solution, in fact, could be as simple as retracing steps and then reversing them--five small words that could make a world of difference for everyone involved:

John Robinson Back to USC.

Give you one good reason why Robinson or USC would even consider such a move?

I can give you 15.

1. The timing is right at USC, initials that have attained new meaning among Trojan alumni and boosters this year: Unemploy Smith as Coach. USC fans never used to have a problem with Larry Smith, discounting some highly rocky terrain, because Smith won the 1990 Rose Bowl and 34 other games in four Trojan seasons.

The Todd Marinovich fiasco. No problem.

The drug-testing scandal. No problem.

The various criminal charges (sexual assault, drunk-and-disorderly, drug abuse, Versatel abuse--take your pick) leveled against his players. No problem.

Go 3-6 in 1991.

Problem.

2. The timing is right with the Rams, who think enough of Robinson’s job performance this year that John Shaw absolutely, unconditionally, unequivocally guarantees that no coaching change will be made during the remainder of the season.

Remember the circumstances that brought Robinson to the Rams in 1983: an 8-17 record the previous two seasons under Ray Malavasi. Since losing the 1989 NFC championship game to San Francisco, the Rams are 8-18 under Robinson. Even Robinson has begun to wonder. “There are people who say you can’t last nine years in the league,” he says. “They say that you can’t help but wear down. Somebody, ultimately, has to make that decision here.”

3. Robinson misses USC. Four of his defensive starters come from either UCLA (Darryl Henley, Roman Phifer) or Notre Dame (Pat Terrell, Todd Lyght). He looks at wide receiver and sees UCLA--Flipper Anderson. He looks at right guard and sees UCLA-Duval Love. He got tired of looking at UCLA’s Gaston Green for three years, so he shipped him to Denver.

Other off-season transactions of note by Robinson: Hired Jeff Fisher, ex-USC, as defensive coordinator. Signed Mosi Tatupu, ex-USC, to play third-string fullback. Retained defensive line coach Marv Goux, ex-USC, despite the hiring of a new defensive line coach, John Teerlinck. Re-signed Mike McDonald, ex-USC, who exhibits no other discernible football skills besides bending over and throwing a football 10 yards between his legs.

Old Trojans never die. They come to Anaheim to keep Robinson company.

4. USC misses Robinson. You think it likes being known as a basketball school?

5. Robinson knows how to beat Notre Dame. His record against the Irish, 1976-1982: 6-1.

6. Robinson knows how to beat Cal. His record against the Golden Bears: 6-1. Some scores: 42-17, 60-7, 42-0.

7. At USC, Robinson knew how to win the big one. He is 3-0 in the Rose Bowl, went 11-0-1 in 1979 and won a share of the national championship in 1978.

8. Joe Montana hasn’t played college football since 1979.

9. New Orleans doesn’t play in the Pac-10.

10. Robinson would have no quarterback controversy at USC. If Reggie Perry can complete a handoff, Reggie Perry can play for Robinson.

11. Robinson would know what to do with a Ricky Ervins, a Mazio Royster. At USC, Robinson ran his tailbacks until they dropped--as opposed to the Rams, where Robinson runs his tailbacks until they drop the football.

12. When USC wants a football player, money is no object.

13. When times got tough at USC, Robinson wouldn’t panic. He wouldn’t needlessly burn Rob Johnson’s redshirt season by throwing a heretofore unused freshman quarterback into a 52-30 rout eight games into the schedule. He wouldn’t trade insults with a 20-year-old running back from Cal. He knows the true path to safe travel as the head football coach at USC: U SChmooze.

14. Robinson’s wife never recruited for USC.

15. Traveler stands on the sidelines at USC games, not Georgia Frontiere. This is not an inconsiderable fringe benefit.

Two Sundays ago, the Rams were engaged in a tense struggle with the New Orleans Saints, midway through the second quarter, and here comes Georgia. She talks to Jeff Fisher. She talks to Dale Hatcher. She kisses Jim Everett. She dances the two-step while the Ram band plays during a timeout.

She even tries talking to Robinson, who was a trifle busy at the time.

At his weekly media luncheon the next day, Robinson was asked to detail the substance of Georgia’s urgent message.

Robinson: “She said, ‘Run Scat Right, 394 X-Post.’ And I said, ‘They’re in Cover-2,’ so she said, ‘Oh, never mind then.’ ”

Life at USC wouldn’t hold as many laughs, but, no doubt, it would be simpler. After 5-11 and 3-7, there’s something to be said about getting back to basics.