REPORT CARD / T.J. SIMERS : Winning as Easy as A,B

A: QUARTERBACKS

John Friesz’s contract expires at end of year; now you know why team is raising ticket prices. Any complaints? Remember, some folks paid good money to watch Mark Malone and Babe Laufenberg.

A: RUNNING BACKS

Chargers were sponsors of “Health Day” at the stadium and then they sicked Marion Butts on the Saints. Steve Hendrickson is now 16,723 yards behind Walter Payton.

B-: RECEIVERS

Request to borrow a receiver or two should cross Al Luginbill’s desk some time today. Chris Samuels makes longest catch of the day and spends rest of season on crutches.

A: OFFENSIVE LINE

Saints’ highly-publicized pass rush had a David Duke-like day. Duke couldn’t beat a guy known as a crook; Saints couldn’t whip a line known for stealing paychecks at times.

B+: DEFENSIVE LINE

Stopping Gill Fenerty isn’t exactly putting the clamps on Gale Sayers, but team’s longest gain is 9 yards. Burt Grossman gets a sack--players get Monday off.

A+: LINEBACKERS

A little Grecian Formula, a chance to play, and Billy Ray Smith is back. FBI didn’t press search for D.B. Cooper as hard as Junior Seau went after tackle Richard Cooper.

B-: DEFENSIVE BACKS

Donald Frank wanted to know this week why he’s been ripped for his play? Quinn Early, too slow to play for Chargers, provides quick answer. Sam Seale to the rescue.

B: SPECIAL TEAMS

Nate Lewis kickoff return saves the day. Eric Bieniemy, Darren Carrington and Steve Hendrickson assume role of cheerleaders, but fret not, Charger Girls, pretty they’re not.

A: COACHING

Ty Detmer and BYU have nothing on Dan Henning. If Chargers keep this up, Henning will be asking for a raise.