STAGE REVIEW : Glitz Obscures Visions of ‘Glory’ : Crystal Cathedral Effort Is Well-Intentioned but Fails to Connect

After reviewing one past “Glory of Christmas” at the Crystal Cathedral, I had the pleasure of seeing a quote of mine excerpted for its publicity campaign. There it was, popping up everywhere on billboards and in print ads, reading something to the snappy effect of “The most glorious Christmas ever!”

That’s what I said--in part. They left out the stuff about it being glorious only if soulless, plastic, glitzy extravaganzas happen to be the viewer’s idea of spiritual resonance. But perhaps such oversights occur when an organization’s collective mind is attuned to loftier things.

So, to help the “Glory of Christmas” publicity staff should they go looking for quotes this year, here are some ready-made samples they’re welcome to: “Say, is this Bethlehem or Vegas?” “A two on the Frankincense scale!” “One heck of an expensive show!”

With a 200-member cast consisting mostly of volunteers, the 11th “Glory of Christmas” clearly has a lot of good intentions behind it and a fair dollop of talent as well. But it just didn’t connect in the cumbersome, overblown production viewed Saturday evening. And for a top ticket price--$25--equaling that of South Coast Repertory’s “A Christmas Carol” and half of what San Francisco Ballet is getting for a full-blown “Nutcracker” at the Orange County Performing Arts Center, “Glory” ticket buyers have the right to expect something beyond sheer pageantry.

The Bible offers but a scant few paragraphs in Matthew and Luke on the birth of Christ, calling for a measure of creative expansion to make it into a stage piece. Writer-director Paul David Dunn--the son-in-law of Crystal Cathedral founder Rev. Robert H. Schuller--has created a production chock full of blaring music and opulent staging. The show continually hammers home one point--”Hey, buddy, this is the most important event in the history of the universe!”--to such a degree that the event itself is overshadowed.

It is a story that begs to be told on an intimate scale, a story of divine hope being born in the humblest of human circumstances. Instead, it is obscured in a nonstop flow of high-tech bombast and directionless action.

The huge cast gives the impression that in biblical times the livelihood and recreation of the populace consisted solely of milling about. They shuffle onstage, they shuffle off, some with animals, some with pikes and shields, but all shuffling, all the time.

As spectacle, many of the production’s elements do just fine. The costumery, particularly that of the Three Kings, is real eye-candy. The rain and lightning effects are dramatic and original. The animals--camels, donkeys, goats, sheep, cows, oxen and horses--are a sure treat for the kids, the only one in this slow-moving production.

It’s not entirely slow-moving: The angels flying overhead, via Peter Foy’s “Flying by Foy,” seem to whip around faster than ever this year, with a reverse gear so swift it’s comical. With eight of them careening about at one point, it’s a neck-wrenching overkill, more a matter for FAA concern than source for wonder of the soul.

The production seems scaled back a bit from past years. Lions and wolves have been dropped from the menagerie, and the cathedral’s huge glass doors no longer swing open at the conclusion. After perhaps another decade of budget cuts, the production may get down to a captivating scale.

Amid all the mooing and clatter there are some solid vocal performances. On Saturday, Debby Smith-Tebay as Mary and Robin Buck as Joseph (the show alternates between two casts) displayed pure, rich voices, and the child singers were surprisingly on-key. The standout performances were shepherdess Henrietta Davis’ “What Child Is This?” and shepherd Kevin Cade’s “O Holy Night.” Both sang with a personality and emotion that put some life into the otherwise parched proceedings. And it was a near-marvel they were able to convey that over the schmaltzy, taped musical backing.

Except for 60 seconds of chortling evil from Herod-for-life Buddy Adler, there’s little in “Glory” that can be considered drama. Everyone basically just spends an hour adoring the heck out of a baby doll. Combined with dance numbers that seem utterly divorced from the story, musical selections that are pure Wonder Bread, and Thurl (Tony the Tiger) Ravenscroft’s self-satisfied narration, it’s no wonder that the kids in the seats nearby looked restless and bored most of the time.

Do them a favor: Take them to a zoo instead. Have them watch “A Charlie Brown Christmas” on the tube. Then let them donate the price of “Glory” tickets to a local food bank, and see if they don’t get a better idea of what Christmas is all about.

‘The Glory of Christmas’

A Crystal Cathedral production directed and written by Paul David Dunn. With Debby Smith-Tebay, Rita Baretta, Robin Buck, Don Christiensen, Kevin Cade, Dan Leal, Henrietta Davis, Susan Holsonbake and Arthur C. (Buddy) Adler. Set by Charles Lisanby. Choreography by Dorie Lee Mattson. Musical direction by Johnnie Carl. Costumes by Richard Bostard. Plays nightly at 4:30, 6:30 and 8:30 p.m. through Dec. 29 (with no shows on Dec. 24 or 25) at 12141 Lewis St., Garden Grove. Tickets $14 to $25. (714) 54-GLORY.