Smart Stuff on ‘90210’

I am a TV-generation moron. Like my peers, I am, for all practical purposes, illiterate. When I do read, I enjoy books that have lots of glittery romance (or at least sex), a little violence and, above all, aren’t too hard to understand.

My favorite TV show by far is “Beverly Hills 90210.” There isn’t much violence, true, although there are just enough cute girls in short skirts to keep my attention. The characters are all so smart. They always come up with the perfect politically correct answer for whatever problem they face within 48 minutes.

The thing I really like about it, though, is the realism. I mean, this is what teen-agers really feel. Especially beautiful, over-privileged teen-agers who live in Beverly Hills and drive Mercedes-Benz 500 SLs to class.

I tried watching “Twin Peaks” a few times. It sounded like there might be some good video-game-like violence and gratuitous sex, but I really couldn’t understand it at all. It was too much like “Blue Velvet,” a movie that I found utterly disturbing because it was far too intense for someone like me. I wrote it off as being too “weird.”

As you can see, I clearly need guidance. I need some self-appointed televangelist or a follower of his to program what I watch, what I read and what I believe. After all, I am like the rest of my generation (and every other generation, for that matter). I am obviously incapable of understanding the Bible, or anything else important or meaningful, for myself. I am blinded by MTV. I am asking you all to spoon feed me the truth and redirect my life, please !

As long as you let me watch “Beverly Hills 90210.”

MARKO CECIC-KARUZIC, Los Angeles