In Mint Condition : * Despite the recession, there are still plenty of spectacular presents for those who have the means.

Time was, 12 geese a-laying would impress a body.

These days it takes a far more extravagant Christmas gift to woo some true loves.

Despite the fact that money is tight now, Orange County’s retailers still have plenty of spectacular presents for those who have the means. The rest of us, meanwhile, can always dream.

High-spending Santas can count on Tiffany & Co. for the ultimate gift.

“How would you like to find this in your booty under the tree,” teases Jo Ellen Qualls, vice president of Tiffany at South Coast Plaza, Costa Mesa. She’s flashing a 20-carat yellow diamond ring on her finger that sells for $215,000.

Even pricier is Tiffany’s platinum ring with a sparkling pear-shaped diamond weighing 10 carats. At $400,000, it’s roughly the price of a large house.

Size can be a deceptive indicator of a ring’s value, Qualls says. To prove it, she pulls out a 1.16-carat pink diamond ring. Because of the stone’s rare natural pink hue (most pink diamonds have a dull grayish tinge), the ring is priced at $170,000.

“Good things really do come in small packages,” Qualls says.

Another contender for the fantasy Christmas list is Tiffany’s 18-karat gold flexible necklace encrusted with 20 carats in diamonds and set with a 20-carat emerald-cut aquamarine at its center. After modeling the $25,000 piece, Qualls was a little reluctant to remove it from her neck.

Unusual and extravagant gifts have become a Yuletide tradition at Neiman Marcus in Fashion Island, Newport Beach. This year, its famed Christmas Book offers his-and-her LTV Hummers, rugged vehicles used by the armed forces since 1985 but available as civilian stocking stuffers for the first time through the stores. The Hummers are $50,000 each.

Neiman Marcus also has discovered a gift suitable for the family clan: personal totem poles. For $2,000, Washington state artist Duane Pasco will interview the family to determine the appropriate symbols and animal guardians, then carve the family tree from cedar.

Santas who want to spoil a child can do so with a $2,000 rocking horse.

“Yes, people do buy these,” says Jeff Goonewardena, co-owner of Oodles & Oodles in Fashion Island, a shop which carries hand-crafted, hand-painted toys.

This is no ordinary hobby horse. It has a mane and tail of real horse’s hair and is hand-carved in wood by a 65-year-old craftsman from New Zealand, who spends more than two months sculpting each horse.

One father bought the pricey rocking horse for his daughter, then decided not to allow her to sit in the horse’s genuine leather saddle.

“He decided to use it as a decorator piece,” Goonewardena says.

Parents on smaller budgets can find whimsical children’s chairs shaped like zebras, teddy bears and other creatures for about $100.

Many adults have taken to buying each other underwear for holidays, and the upscale unmentionables at Boudoir in Fashion Island are strictly for those with money to spare.

These are couture bras and panties made from “outrageous silks,” says Joe Tiseo, co-owner of Boudoir. A single bra sells for about $200; panties for about $130. A fitting choice for Christmas: the gold tissue lame bra and panty set that goes for about $400.

The Midas touch has spread to the makers of sportswear as well.

Tennis buffs now have an alternative to boring white--a gold lame tennis outfit that would never pass muster at Wimbledon.

“When I first started (selling tennis clothes), it was white with a little trim. This is probably as far-out as tennis has ever been,” says Stacy Murphy, owner of Forty Love in Fashion Island. “But people love it.”

Forty Love carries a solid gold lame jacket for $102 and matching pleated skirt for $60, plus all of the accessories.

“We have a white shirt piped in gold, gold panties and even a solid-gold visor,” Murphy says.

For golfers there are gold lame golf shorts. The entire collection also comes in silver.

“Gold has been a popular item in fashion for a couple of seasons, and my tennis manufacturers watch women’s fashions to get their ideas,” Murphy says.

If chess is your game, Traditional Jewelers in Fashion Island has a solid-gold chess set.

Game pieces are studded with diamonds, rubies, sapphires and pearls. One of the knights, for instance, stands 3 1/2 inches tall, weighs 4 ounces and has rubies set in his breast plate.

“There’s only a few of these made and this is the last one we have,” says Kevin Marshall, sales representative for the jewelry store. So, while supplies last, one can pay $350,000 and play chess on a set fit for a king.