Video-Maker Says Scantily Clad Can Barely Make a Living in S.D.

Suddenly all the talk is about saving jobs in San Diego, and how we’ve got to do everything we can.

But what about a forgotten segment of the population: young women with dynamite torsos?

There are no figures on the unemployment rate among hot body females in San Diego. But certainly it is higher than it should be, and thus is worthy of great civic alarm.

Which brings us to John Cross and his Hot Body Intl. video venture. Cross is a longtime North County resident, and he would love to be plying his trade locally and increasing the region’s employment base.

Instead, he is in self-imposed exile in Los Angeles. He is recruiting talent and doing his videos (women in very skimpy swimwear cavorting for howling males) in locales outside San Diego County.

Those are jobs leaving town, my brothers and sisters.

Cross’s first efforts are just now available at Video Depot outlets in North County: “Miss Puerto Vallarta” and “Miss Cancun.”

If those fly, stand by for “Springbreak,” “Miss Palm Springs,” “Miss Acapulco,” and more, already shot.

“You’ve heard of the ‘Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous,’ ” Cross said. “What we do is the more like the ‘Lifestyles of the Gorgeous and Scantily Clad.’ ”

Just a few years ago, Cross was promoting skin contests (female and male) at Tijuana Tilley’s in Mission Valley and Diego’s in Pacific Beach. This brought him to the attention of the Police Department vice squad.

Two women in a miniskirt contest at Tilley’s and three men in a tight-jean contest at Diego’s were busted for violating a city ordinance that says no bare buttocks may be displayed in an establishment selling alcohol.

Cross concluded that his beloved San Diego was inhospitable to his artistic endeavors. Another creative spirit crushed by government. He decided to flee rather than fight.

“Being cited by the vice squad is like inhaling bug spray, it stays in your system forever,” Cross said. “If you get a violation from the vice squad, it stays on a list. There is no statute of limitations.”

Not that Cross has abandoned San Diego totally. He plans to sneak into town long enough to shoot his next video: his first starring men.

He is keeping the site secret. Probably a wise move.

Dishonorable Mention

Look here.

* Kearny Mesa bumper sticker: “My Triplets Are Honor Students at Folsom, Alcatraz and San Quentin.”

* Bob Davidson of La Jolla faxes his explanation for President Bush’s unscheduled upchuck: “They fed him a Japanese favorite--broccoli teriyaki.”

* Councilman Ron Roberts becomes the first announced candidate for mayor when he makes it official Saturday at his mother’s house in Linda Vista.

The location is meant to emphasize Roberts’ humble roots.

* Paparazzi beware. Singer Janet Jackson this week finally got approval to build an extra-high fence around her manse near Rancho Santa Fe Farms.

* Is nothing sacred?

The Rancho Santa Fe Golf Club Board of Governors is offering a $1,000 reward leading to the arrest of the driver(s) responsible for ripping around the golf course under cover of darkness, damaging the fairways.

* News organizations are receiving faxes hyping a supposed rally Saturday in Pulaski, Tenn., of Ku Klux Klanners, neo-Nazis and White Power Skinheads.

The news hook is that David Duke and Tom Metzger have ended their feud and will be keynote speakers.

The problem is that Duke’s spokeswoman says Duke doesn’t know anything about the rally. And Metzger won’t get out of jail in Los Angeles for at least four months.

* Christmas is gone, but one card is still making the rounds of the San Diego Police Department.

It went to the department’s Fugitive Apprehension Unit from the producers of the Fox television show “America’s Most Wanted.”

The outside shows a nice Christmas wreath. Look a little closer, and the wreath is made up of fingerprints.

No Cause for Alarm

How bad has the car theft/break-in rate gotten?

Jerry Hermes spotted a car in the parking lot of Grossmont Center with a plaintive, hand-written sign in the window:

Please leave my car alone!!!!!! It has no stereo, money, tapes, clothes or miscellaneous. You already have all my belongings. Be kind to the starving students! Thank you.--Poverty stricken woman