Keep Flexin’ Those Pecs

When Buzz learned of the Food and Drug Administration moratorium on female breast implants, we checked to see what the status was for pectoral implants for men--the kind that turn a Woody Allen chest into one of Schwarzeneggerian proportions. As usual, it’s a man’s world. It turns out male implants, which are not under FDA scrutiny, are solid silicone rather than bags filled with gel. According to two prominent local plastic surgeons, not only is this considered safer, it imparts a manly firmness. However, in a rare instance of a male accessory costing more than a female one, the guy implants cost more since they are custom-made as opposed to the off-the-rack model that women get.

Uh, Ready on the Set

Maybe it’s the economy, maybe it’s the lure of Hollywood. There were a record number of applications this year for the Assistant Directors Training Program run by the Directors Guild and the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers.

Unlike the director who, we can hope, has a vision of what the movie will look like, an AD translates the director’s creative concerns into organizational reality. It’s not quite as glamorous as the director’s job. Part of the work is having to knock on trailer doors, saying things like, “Uh, hello, Mr. Stallone? Could you come out? They’re ready for you now.”

Still, many consider the post a good entree into show biz. This year, there were more than 1,500 applicants for between 8 to 15 openings as a trainee. How many actors there are trying to become another Stallone is unknown.

Essentials

What you need to maneuver the L.A. scene: Your own little piece of immortality is an absolute necessity. But if you’re a somebody in this town, why leave your life in the hands of biographers who might not appreciate it for the extraordinary masterpiece it is?

To the rescue is Kilborn House Ltd., a Canadian-based company offering “Life-Force” biography for everyone. Through questionnaires filled out by you and friends, family and co-workers, Kilborn’s writers will sum up your life in several thousand words, and promise the result will be totally unbiased.

“We do feel that the Los Angeles area is a very strong market for our product,” says Maria Balice, senior editor of the company’s U. S. division. But will biographees really want a straight-on, objective overview of their life and times? Says Balice, “If the individual wants to be extremely self-effacing, that would be the end product. If he or she wants to leave a rosy picture for the grandkids or whoever, that would be the product.”

Knowing L.A., we think most people will go for that rosy picture.