Showtime East and Knick Girls a Poor Imitation of Real Thing

Pat Riley was identified with “Showtime” when he was the Laker coach, and the Laker Girls were part of the glitz and glamour.

Showtime has gone East, where Riley coaches the New York Knicks. But the Knick Girls have been a bust on Broadway.

“I don’t really care for them. It reminds me too much of ballet,” said season-ticket holder Clarence Plummer. “This is New York. You come to see basketball, not dancers. Madison Square Garden has always been known as a basketball arena, not a dance arena. I’m booing ‘em,” he said.

Add girls: Said dancer Kimberly Wells: “Laker girls wear really short outfits, they do a lot more cheering when they’re out there on the sidelines, kicks and jumps and stuff. But this is New York, the capital of dancing--and that’s what we’re doing.”

Better get your act together, Kimberly.

Trivia time: How old was Dick Button in 1948 when he became the first American male to win a gold medal in figure skating?

Pulling the plug: The image of a baseball player with a big plug of tobacco stuck in his jaw has been as much a part of the game as the curveball.

But the Southeastern Conference has banned tobacco products from the mouths of players, coaches and umpires during league games this season.

Some Auburn players are resisting the ban. “It’s been a part of baseball forever. I think it’s dumb to outlaw it,” said outfielder Mike Killimett, who uses both tobacco and snuff.

“We should be able to make the decision ourselves, not have somebody tell us what to do,” added Brian Senn, a Tiger pitcher who describes himself as a “big-time chewer” of tobacco.

Altar coach: Donnie Walsh, a friend of Larry Brown’s, told the Boston Globe that a job will always be waiting for the new Clipper coach.

“Larry is like Liz Taylor,” Walsh said. “Just when you think it’s over, someone new is ready to walk him down the aisle.”

No heat: Nolan Ryan pitched to his wife, Ruth, at a Texas Rangers’ fantasy camp. She hit a fastball just above the fists and grounded out meekly to the mound.

Said Ryan: “I didn’t have the heart to knock her down.”

Good thinking, Nolan.

The awful truth: Dr. Frank Jobe, medical sports specialist and a recent honoree at the local chapter of the Baseball Writers Assn. of America dinner, on how he knows he is getting old:

“About 15 years ago, I was going to Las Vegas for a meeting and my wife said to me at the airport, ‘I know you are going over there where there are lots of temptations, and I just hope you don’t do anything that we can’t talk about later.’

“Last month, I was going to Las Vegas for another meeting and my wife said to me at the airport, ‘I know you are going over there where there are lots of temptations, and I just hope you don’t eat anything that will give you an upset stomach.’ ”

Trivia answer: Button was 18.

Quotebook: Philadelphia 76er owner Harold Katz on his team’s lethargic play before the All-Star game break: “If I had a two-hour job a day, I don’t see how you can’t be focused. I mean this is your job.”