Traveling In Style : SEVEN CAFE TIPS

Rules of etiquette for cafe-going:

(1) Don’t sit down at tables set with cutlery and napkins unless you plan to eat a meal. They’re reserved for diners. If you’re just drinking or snacking, pick a bare table.

(2) Don’t spread out: Taking side-by-side banquette seats, each with its own table, is no fair if there are only two of you. And in crowded cafes, purses, coats, etc., don’t get a chair of their own.

(3) Know what you want before you sit down. A Parisian would no more ask for a menu at a cafe than you would ask for one when you belly up to a crowded bar. (Menus are often posted outside, though, if you must look at one.)

(4) Pay when asked. Although you can usually take your time at a cafe, you’ll sometimes be asked for money rather abruptly. The waiter isn’t hassling (or hustling) you; he’s just going off duty and is required to settle up first.

(5) Take your time. Expect to take your time. It has been calculated unofficially that the minimum period required to get a waiter’s attention, order, receive and consume your refreshment and then get said waiter to take your money is about 30 minutes. If you’re in a hurry and just want a quick shot of coffee or thirst-quenching beer, stand at the counter (it’ll be cheaper, too).

(6) Don’t try to pay with a credit card. Only the tourist traps take them, and they’re quite out of the true cafe spirit. (And don’t complain about the price. You’re not paying “three bucks for a tiny cup of coffee”; you’re paying three bucks for the privilege of sitting in a presumably pleasant environment for as long as you want.)

(7) Expect to inhale secondhand smoke. You might deplore them, and the French government might be trying to curtail their use, but cigarettes remain a fact of life in Paris--above all in cafes.