The Christmas tree has been looking a...

The Christmas tree has been looking a tad tired. One more week, we figure, and it really oughta come down. The outdoor decorations had to go, though. No getting around it.

“Don’t you think,” a neighbor asked recently, “that they look a bit out of place?”

We studied the snowman, elves, gingerbread house and reindeer. Rudolph himself was situated nicely inside a giant letter “o.” Someone had burned the word Bozo into our front lawn with gasoline.

“Since when did peace, love and understanding go out of style?” we said.

We had just started on the outdoor lights when little Sophie, the next-door neighbor’s girl, came over to add her two cents.

“I didn’t have to share my Christmas toys with any of my brothers or sisters,” she said. Pause. “Know why?”

“Mmmmm,” we said. “Does it have to do with that fact that you’re an only child?”

“Right!” she said. Pause. “Where do you cook?”

“You lost us,” we said.

“Mommy and Daddy say you’re the neighborhood cook,” Sophie said.

“Think you mean kook. “

“Ohhhhhhhhhh.”

“I hear your mother calling you,” we said.

“No she’s not,” she said.

“Something about, wait . . .” We cupped a hand to our ear. “Yes. Something about the good fairy changing all the furniture in your house into chocolate.”

Not a nibble.

“Something about two unicorns playing water polo in your back-yard pool.”

Nada.

“Something about Tinkerbell giving flying lessons in your living room.”

At this, she sat down in front of us.

“OK, OK,” we said. “This is it. Your mother is saying something about taking you to see the Chicken Soup Theater Company’s presentation of ‘Snoopy’ at 2 p.m. Saturday at the Groundlings Theater, 7307 Melrose Ave., Hollywood. It’s a benefit for the Juvenile Diabetes Foundation. Tickets are $8 adults, $5 children. Call (310) 842-6742. Will that do ya?”

She shook her head. “You’ll never learn,” she said.

Out of the mouth of babes.