HIGH LIFE / A WEEKLY FORUM FOR HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS : Why People Tend to Believe There’s More to Male-Female Friendship
“You guys are so good together, why don’t you go out?”
If your best friend--the one you share your most personal thoughts and dreams with--is a member of the opposite sex, you’ve probably been asked that question a lot.
Hot Topics wonders, “Why is it so hard for people to accept that someone of the opposite sex can be just a friend?”
“Because people want qualities they find in a friend in a girlfriend or boyfriend too.”
Burnie Wilson, 18,
senior, Esperanza
“Some people just can’t get over the fact that being friends is good enough.”
Aneesh Shah, 16,
junior, Brea-Olinda
“Because, inevitably, especially at this age, there will be some sexual attraction between the two, and just being friends is asking too much.”
Louie Cheng, 17,
senior, Sunny Hills
“It’s a misconception. If you see a guy and a girl together, you automatically assume that they are going out.”
Alex Chang, 18,
senior, Marina
“Because it’s human nature to want more from the opposite sex than friendship.”
Thad Buck, 16,
sophomore, Santa Margarita
“Everyone treats their boyfriends and girlfriends almost the same way as their friends. They automatically think you love them.”
Lisa Eaves, 14,
freshman, Sonora
“Because you’re always curious of what the opposite sex might be like intimately.”
Griselda Subias, 18,
senior, St. Margaret’s
“People are just hungry for gossip; therefore, people hunt for false relationships. People of the opposite sex can be friends.”
Steve Howe, 16,
junior, Los Alamitos
“It is simply a known fact that men and women cannot be friends. They can only be friends for a short time before they start to feel more than friendship for each other.”
Ilana Shane, 17,
senior, Marina
“Because when one person likes the other more than just friendly, it makes friendship difficult.”
Gretchen Adornetto, 17,
senior, Esperanza
“When someone of the opposite sex is ‘just a friend,’ it’s sometimes hard to help but think that if they’re such a good friend, they’d probably make a good boyfriend or girlfriend.”
Ronda Elsayed, 17,
senior, Brea-Olinda
“It’s hard for people because usually people of the opposite sex are more than just friends. So when people say they are ‘just friends’ with people of the opposite sex, people tend not to believe them.
Jennie Bemus, 15,
sophomore, Sunny Hills
“People cannot accept that two people can be just friends. Society has taught them there must be an ulterior motive. It undermines friendship. It’s sad.”
Bridget Flynn, 17,
junior, Santa Margarita
“Because sometimes you get so close to someone, you know so much about them that you think you like them, and sometimes you really do.”
Erundina Hernandez, 17,
senior, Sonora
“I think people of the opposite sex can be just friends. It’s our parents that try to convince us that a friendship with someone of the opposite sex has to mean more.”
Susan Heydenrych, 15,
sophomore, St. Margaret’s
“Because of the sex.”
Brooke Pricer, 17,
junior, Los Alamitos
“Because it’s a way of life. If you’re close with a member of the opposite sex, you must be going out. It’s in our culture.”
Linda Yoon, 14,
sophomore, Marina
“Because the attraction gets in the way.”
Ryan Allee, 17,
senior, Esperanza
“Because they want to see a relationship where there isn’t one, and people believe what they want to believe.”
Peggy Chen, 16,
junior, Brea-Olinda
“Because it’s a natural thing for people of the opposite sex to be attracted to each other.”
Mari Carella, 15,
freshman, Santa Margarita
“Because people don’t just want to be friends. They want a more meaningful relationship.”
Chris Beahm, 14,
freshman, Sonora
Next Week’s Hot Topic:
What lessons about life could you teach your parents?
Responses gathered by Brian Lee (Brea-Olinda), Jennifer Leuer (Esperanza), Trisha Ginsburg (Los Alamitos), Gail Altman (Marina), Brooke Lyons (St. Margaret’s), Katie Elftmann (Santa Margarita), Stefanie Johnson (Sonora) and Jedidiah Yueh (Sunny Hills).
