No Weaseling by This Candidate--He’s Standing Up for Ferrets’ Rights

Different injustices drive different people to run for political office.

For some, it might be oppressive taxation. For others, unmet social needs.

For Pat Wright, it’s the adamant refusal of the state of California to decriminalize the ownership of ferrets ( Mustela nigripes ), those outlaw cousins of the weasel.

Wright, 33, state chairman of the Libertarian Party, says he decided to run for the 76th Assembly District seat because of the state government’s anti-ferret mind-set and the refusal of the incumbent, Assemblyman Mike Gotch (D-San Diego), to help change it.

“I’m the leading ferret crank in the county,” Wright explains.

He asked Gotch for help in overturning the state’s 1935 prohibition against ownership of ferrets. Gotch referred him to the Department of Fish and Game.

Two months later, Boyd Gibbons, the director of Fish and Game, sent Wright a two-page letter talking of ferrets attacking chickens and spreading rabies.

The letter so infuriated Wright that he sent Gibbons a two-page rejoinder and promptly became a political candidate to purge government of ferret defamation.

As a Libertarian, he’s keen on cases of governmental dimness and bungling. He thinks the ferret ban is a prime example of paternalism turned into tyranny:

“I don’t like to be treated like a child by government.”

Among other things, Wright thinks the state has been influenced by scare stories like one in the Midnight Sun: “The Jetset Pet That Eats Kids.”

The ferret community has been fighting state government tooth and toenail for several years. Buffs say ferrets are clean and make good house pets.

Saying ferrets are dangerous, game wardens have raided homes in several Southern California counties to seize the critters. In turn, a ferret underground has sprung up among ferret lovers to find “safe houses.”

Wright, who works for a San Diego book publishing firm, has male ferrets named Chester, Gonzo and Pooka. He says they coexist with his cats, Duffis and Otis.

He keeps all three ferrets in his North Park home, despite the fact that a ferret bust could mean a $3,000 fine and 18 months in jail.

“Someone has to stand up for ferrets,” he said.

A Must for Newlyweds on the Run

Journalism, a la carte.

* ‘Til charley horses do us part.

Yes, the Sport Chalet stores in San Diego do have a bridal registry, for athletic minded soon-to-be-weds.

* The 8th Annual Bay-2-Bay USA Rowing and Paddling Regatta has been postponed until May 24 because of the sewage spill.

* One of Peter Navarro’s best applause lines on the mayoral stump is when he promises to have the phones in the City Council dais ripped out so council members can’t jabber (and ignore the public) during meetings.

* Luis Ortega, the new police chief in Tijuana, just met with Bob Burgreen, the San Diego chief.

Asked by Burgreen what the San Diego PD could do to help him, Ortega didn’t hesitate: His officers need bulletproof vests (some have them, but not enough).

(Two TJ cops have been gunned down in recent months, a third wounded.)

Burgreen is looking to see if some of San Diego’s old vests can be declared surplus and made available.

* Vice President Dan Quayle comes to San Diego next week for two Republican fund-raisers (one $500 per, one $50 per) at the San Diego Marriott Hotel. No golf.

* Virginia Ulrich, whose Byzantine legal theories run to several hundred pages, was nonetheless found guilty Tuesday of letting her teen-age daughter drive her car without a license.

San Diego Municipal Judge Patricia A. Y. Cowett also blocked Ulrich’s attempts to subpoena Assemblywoman Dede Alpert (D-Solana Beach) and Dist. Atty. Edwin Miller. Sentencing (a possible $62 fine) was set for Friday.

* Bumper sticker (on the gas tank of a Honda motorcycle): “Lie Down. I Think I Love You.”

What’s Her Weighting Room Like?

Front-page story in Morse Code, the student newspaper at Samuel Morse High School:

“She can bench press 225 pounds, squat 267, dead lift 315 pounds, and, yes, she can also counsel students. Miss Teri Clavel has joined the Morse staff as the R through Z counselor.”

Gee, with all that strength, you’d think she could lift the entire alphabet.