These Guys Are Missing a Good Game

Bob Rubin of the Miami Herald recently spent some time at the Joe Brinkman-Bruce Froemming Umpire School in Cocoa, Fla., and found the instruction provided by National League umpire Steve Rippley to be one of more memorable aspects of the place. In short, Rubin found out why Rippley is known as “the Ripper.”

When a student umpire broke incorrectly on a simulated play and then froze, Rippley said: “That’s OK. We’ll just stop for some tea and bagels.”

When another student hesitated in making a call, Rippley said: “Very convincing. A preschooler might believe it.”

According to Rubin, nearly 100 students paid $2,250 apiece for room, board and five weeks of abuse.

Trivia time: Who has hit the most home runs among active major league players whose last name is Davis? (Hint: It isn’t Eric.)

Knows his place: Free-agent quarterback Dave Krieg visited Kansas City recently to work out for the Chiefs and was given a locker next to defensive back Deron Cherry, who has intercepted nine of Krieg’s passes, more than any other player. According to Jim Armstrong of the Denver Post, Krieg turned to Cherry and said: “I helped you buy most of those clothes.”

Must be the pants: Best anybody can tell, the baggy look in basketball shorts started with Michael Jordan entering the NBA in 1984. But what began as a simple bit of alteration--increasing the standard inseam on shorts from three inches to between five and seven inches--has gotten out of hand, reports the Pittsburgh Press’ Bill Modoono, with many players going well beyond the seven-inch standard.

“There’s a player in this league, at Massachusetts, his (uniform) pants are so long and baggy, I could wear them as regular pants,” Atlantic 10 Commissioner Ron Bertovich told Modoono.

Add pants: At Duquesne University this season, students honored senior guard James Hargrove not because he was leading the Atlantic 10 in scoring, but because he was wearing his shorts so long.

“Come out in your baggiest, droopiest shorts,” one poster promoting “James Hargrove Night” read.

Proclaimed a banner unfurled by a group of fans at the game honoring Hargrove: “Men With Droopy Drawers Have Great Hang Time.”

Hargrove, whose pants often dipped below his knees, told Modoono: “I think it’s my style. It’s very comfortable. I like ‘em below the knee, but that’ll do. If these were any longer, I’d have (long) pants on.”

Trivia answer: Chili Davis, who has hit 185 major league home runs. Eric Davis has 177.

Quotebook: Basketball coach turned commentator Jim Valvano: “Think about what I do for a living: I watch college basketball and talk, two of my most favorite things in the whole world. It beats heavy lifting.”