Classifying Your Dangerous Liaisons Just as a Rolodex Madam Would

The business of the city.

* It had to happen: The Rolodex Madam Little Black Book is now for sale.

An address book with sections for City Officials, Detectives, Ex’s, Geezers, Judges, Lounge Lizards, Narcs and Nutritionists, Politicians, Quickies, Thankless Thrifty Toads, Weirdos and more. You supply the names and numbers.

Ex-Rolodex Madam Karen Wilkening is not involved. It’s the gag brainchild of Schaffer Communications, a La Jolla public relations firm.

Irene Schaffer says she’s had no trouble getting stores to sell the book. Except for one proprietor who sniffed:

“I don’t get it, and neither would our La Jolla clientele.”

* The IRS still has a $4,153 lien against Dick Silberman for non-payment of taxes from 1989.

* The gang unit of the San Diego Police Department sent a photographer to the London Underground store in Fashion Valley to shoot pictures of the Crime Inc. line of clothing modeled after street-gang attire.

The pictures are for the files: to help detectives tell the real gangbangers from the store-bought ones.

* Yes, the Daily Aztec, the student newspaper at San Diego State, really did run an add for the Cozy Condom Heater, an electric gizmo to store your (still packaged) condoms in until they’re needed.

Three different models (pocket, car and home), from $4.50 to $8.50, plus $1.50 for shipping and handling. Sold by an Oregon mail-order outfit.

* Wells Fargo Bank is offering a $10,000 reward for information about two bandits who held up the Lake Murray branch in La Mesa last Saturday and made off with $60,000.

The reward is offered under the James B. Hume Reward Program. Hume was the famous detective who chased bank robbers across California in the latter part of the 1800s, arresting Black Bart, among others.

* Campo’s Orlin (Juice) Norris, minutes after knocking out Anthony (Hollywood) Hembrick at the Sports Arena on Wednesday night, explaining to reporters why he wants to fight again as soon as possible:

“I like to stay in business.”

A Lawyer by any Other Name . . .

Both major contenders for the Democratic nomination in the 49th Congressional District are attorneys, but neither cares to be listed as such on the ballot.

Lynn Schenk listed her profession as “port commissioner/businesswoman.” (State rules limit self-descriptions to three words.)

Byron Georgiou wanted to be listed as “public interest advocate.”

But the California secretary of state early this week said no on the grounds that “public interest advocate” is not a real profession.

Georgiou then engaged in a legalistic back-and-forth with an attorney for the secretary of state.

Georgiou contended that he had earned the title of “advocate” through his experience as a law clerk, legal affairs secretary to then-Gov. Jerry Brown, a Del Mar Fair Board member, and an attorney for the San Diego Convention Center, Deputy Sheriff’s Assn. and employee associations in San Diego and El Cajon.

Finally a compromise was struck Thursday: Georgiou will be listed as a “public law advocate.”

He says the title is an acceptable description of his career and will spare him the wrath of those voters who think “attorney” is a dirty word:

“What can you say about attorneys? Nobody likes them until they need one.”

Where’s the Pit Crew?

Timing.

* Gentlemen, start your press conference.

The San Diego Auto Museum in Balboa Park this week had to reschedule a press conference with two-time Indianapolis 500 winner Roger Ward.

Why? Because Ward, who lives near San Bernardino, couldn’t get his car started.

* Barry Lorge, former sports editor and columnist for the San Diego Union, has opened a consulting firm with sports and media clients.

Among his clients: developers Ronald Hahn and Samuel Marasco, whose proposal to build a downtown sports arena faces a crucial vote Monday at the City Council.

* North County bumper sticker, on a battered van: “Zappa/Brown in ’92.”