This Wasn’t Mentioned in Job Description

Chris Ford recently addressed a fan at Boston Garden who insisted that the Celtic coach should put guard John Bagley into the game.

“Bagley’s hurt,” Ford told the fan, according to the Boston Globe’s Jackie MacMullan. “Didn’t you hear the announcement?”

Ford shook his head, turned back to the game, then spoke to the fan one more time.

“Geez, get here earlier next time.”

Add Ford: On the day he was named coach, Ford turned to his wife and asked: “Are you happy?”

“Oh, yes,” she answered.

“Good,” he said. “Because you may never be this happy again.”

Trivia time: What school won the first NCAA women’s basketball championship?

Deflation: Pervis Ellison’s relationship with the Sacramento Kings was pretty rocky at the end of his time with the team.

How bad?

Ellison: “It got so bad for me . . . that one day, on the way to a home game, I got a flat tire, and two assistant coaches passed me on the highway without stopping.”

Punch line: Two days before Iran Barkley fought Thomas Hearns, someone asked Barkley what he planned to do when he retired from boxing.

Said Barkley: “Rob your house.”

Wrote Newsday’s Wallace Matthews: “Somebody get this guy a big payday. Please.”

Versatile: Said minor league goaltender Norm Foster, who works for a manufacturer of hockey equipment and soon will have his chauffeur’s license: “When they ask me what I can do for the team, I’ll be able to sell them some equipment, drive the bus and play goal.”

Why ask why?: CBS analyst Will McDonough reported that the Atlanta Falcons were interested in trading for running back Herschel Walker of the Minnesota Vikings. But Falcon Coach Jerry Glanville quickly squashed the rumors.

“Why do I need him on my team for?” Glanville asked.

Unmasked: Kevin Allen, USA Today hockey reporter, explained in the Christian Science Monitor how the sport has evolved: “They talk about how goaltenders used to play without masks, but players shoot so much harder now. Back then, the puck was floating up there like a knuckleball.”

Add unmasked: Al Strachan of the Toronto Globe and Mail: “Hockey players just seem to be genuine, down-to-earth, basic people, for the most part.”

Full bloom: Carl Rose hits a home run every 2.2 times he comes to the plate in men’s slow-pitch softball, reported Balls & Strikes magazine. Rose, 25, had 240 home runs and batted .751 last season.

Add bloom: He attends Valdosta (Ga.) State College but played two seasons the Pittsburgh Pirates’ organization.

Trivia answer: Louisiana Tech defeated Cheyney in 1982.

Quotebook: Jim Calipari, lamenting the lack of publicity for his Massachusetts basketball team: “Some people still have the perception that we wake up milking cows before we go to practice.”