It’s Too Early to Write Off ‘The Remainders’

Sure, they can type . . . but can they rock? As a “media escort,” Kathi Kamen Goldmark talks to many celebrities as she squires them around to their various interview appointments.

So it isn’t surprising she’d brainstorm an idea to put together a rock band made up of famous authors. According to Goldmark, “Over the years I’ve had many conversations with best-selling writers who secretly want to play rock ‘n’ roll. I’ve always had this fantasy that someday they could all come together and make the dream happen.”

Writers like Stephen King, Amy Tan, Dave Barry, Roy Blount Jr., Greil Marcus and Robert Fulghum jumped at the chance when Goldmark came to them with the idea.

This literary garage band will make its debut May 25 during the American Booksellers Assn. national convention in Anaheim. The playlist? “Louie Louie,” “Gloria,” “Da Doo Ron Ron” and “Double Shot of My Baby’s Love,” plus many, many more.

The band’s name is an author’s worst nightmare: “The Rock-Bottom Remainders,” which are copies of a book no longer selling that the publisher usually dumps at a very low price--not a problem for the members of this band.

Going Ape Over Bears

Bruins just can’t get enough of themselves.

They wear UCLA sweat shirts, which the university says are among the most popular school-emblazoned garments in the world. They cruise around in cars with Bruin license-plate rims and bumper stickers that proclaim, “My two favorite teams are UCLA and whoever’s playing USC.”

And now they can order genuine California license plates with UCLA, the Bruin bear logo and UCLA Bruins printed on them. The idea comes from State Sen. Frank Hill (R-Whittier), a UCLA alumnus who introduced a successful bill last year that allows state universities to offer plates with their names and insignias. A portion of the license-plate fees will go toward scholarships at participating schools.

UCLA, working through its Alumni Assn., is the first to take orders and now counts about 1,000 prospective buyers, according to Karen Mack, a spokeswoman for the association. Prices start at $35 to replace numbered plates and go up to $90 for new personalized plates.

The Alumni Assn. processes orders for members first, and is requiring those who want the same speedy service to include a check for an additional $40 to join the association.

Mack said deliveries of the plates are expected to be made this fall. Rival USC, a private school, can’t beat that.

More Oscar Bites

Your Oscared-out Buzz staff didn’t want you to miss anything from the numerous parties going on Academy Awards night Monday, so here are some sound bites we thought were too interesting to let disappear into quote oblivion:

* At Irving Lazar’s annual Spago fete, one brash TV news crew tried to put a ladder against the restaurant’s windows to peek inside. “I give them credit,” said Israeli security chief Moshe Alon, a Lazar guest. “That’s the first time I’ve seen that one.”

* Also at Spago, Tom and Roseanne Arnold freely admitted they attended the party “because we weren’t invited to any other ones” and “to eat.” Said Roseanne: “We lost a lot of weight. We’re trying really hard to put it back so we can lose it again.”

* “Wayne’s World” creator and star Mike Myers on how Wayne-speak had worked its way into the Oscar telecast: “It’s a very exciting thing that I never would have thought, but I’m just trying to pretend like it’s really part of my life and trying to enjoy it.”

* Oscar show choreographer Debbie Allen was spotted leaving the Governors Ball with husband and daughter in tow, but she wasn’t going home to rest her feet. “I’m giving the dancers a party. They’re never invited to these big things, and they were beautiful tonight.”

* Concluded Walter Matthau at Spago: “Everybody’s got on too much makeup and not enough clothes.”