War OF THE Words : KMPC and XTRA Are All Talk--Sports Talk, That Is--as They Battle for the All-Important Male Listener, Age 25-54

Here is the general rule of thumb regarding radio talk-show wars: When everybody concerned says they couldn’t care less about the other station--Bingo!--you have a genuine airwave brouhaha on your hands.

Which brings us to San Diego-based XTRA (690 AM) and Los Angeles-based KMPC (710 AM), stations undergoing serious denial.

“We don’t need to look to anybody else to show us what to do,” said Howard Freedman, vice president of programming for Noble Broadcasting Group, XTRA’s parent company.

“Hey, I’m glad that they’re here,” KMPC programming director Len Weiner said of XTRA. “They’re proving that there’s a market for it.”

Don’t believe a word of it. If everyone is so chummy, then why does KMPC bill itself as itself as “the only game in town” and admonish listeners not to spend “extra” time--get it? XTRA time?--searching for the best sports talk show? And why does one KMPC host always call XTRA “that Baja station?”

Why does XTRA continue to keep a midday host in Los Angeles if it doesn’t hope to one day dominate the entire Southern California market? Why is there talk that XTRA might increase its wattage from 50,000 to who knows what? Why does Freedman make it a point to detail KMPC’s shortcomings?

That’s easy. Like it or not, there’s a sports-talk war out there. Presenting a glimpse of a day’s worth of skirmishes:

A DAY AT XTRA

Mason’s Crew Takes Everything Sunrise Brings, Cannons Fire, Hamilton Takes the High Ground and Rome Takes On the World

JUNE 2

(6 a.m.-11 a.m.--”The Mason in the Morning Show” with Steve Mason, Brad Cesmat, Dan (the Fan) Wilkins

6:22 a.m.--Steve Mason, who looks a little bit like Groucho Marx with long hair, is the star of this five-hour show. Cesmat serves as the sidekick and Wilkins does . . . well, we’re not sure what Wilkins does.

This is XTRA’s first studio show of the day. From midnight to 6 o’clock, airtime is filled with “The Sports Final,” a syndicated program from Boston.

Anyway, time for a French Open update from Mark Winters, “our exclusive correspondent,” Mason says.

Sure he is. Winters probably doesn’t do more than half a dozen other “exclusive” updates for other stations around the country.

This is some report. It is raining in Paris, so Winters is struggling for news. Mason tries to help by asking if they serve “nachos and cheese stuff” at Roland Garros Stadium.

6:48 a.m.--Mason rips Dodger Vice President Fred Claire for telling reporters recently that the team has always been committed to its young players.

“Bull,” Mason says.

Truth is, Claire has long supported the Dodgers’ use of young players. After all, it was Claire who declined to pursue veteran third baseman Tim Wallach in favor of Dave Hansen. A Wallach deal also would have cost the Dodgers first baseman Eric Karros.

Next up is Banana George Blair, a 77-year-old barefoot water skier. Why Blair is on the show, nobody knows.

7:39 a.m.--At last, a guest with news potential: Clipper General Manager Elgin Baylor. One problem--Baylor isn’t in the mood for news. However, he does go out on a limb and predicts that Shaquille O’Neal is “a can’t-miss player.”

Easy to see why Elgin makes the big money.

8:13 a.m.--Wilkins has been dispatched to a local polling site in Old Town. He has a small poster board with photographs of, among others, Lee Hamilton, Pee-Wee Herman, the five presidential candidates, Don Shula, Jay Leno, Art Spanos and Kirby Puckett. He then conducts an exit poll of sorts, asking voters to match their favorite candidate with the appropriate photo.

A Pat Buchanan voter is asked to find his candidate on the board. He confidently chooses a mug shot of Hamilton. Later, someone mistakes Leno for Bill Clinton.

If it were television, it would be a funny bit. On radio, it doesn’t translate. Good idea. Wrong medium.

8:23 a.m.--A contact from Jerry Brown’s campaign office offers to arrange an interview with the candidate.

8:36 a.m.--Brown quickly overwhelms Mason and launches into a predictable plea for votes. Mason is reduced to an occasional, “Uh, Governor. . . . Uh, Governor. . . .”

Nine minutes later, Mason manages to end the interview by asking Brown who the former governor likes in the National League West race.

“I’ll take the Dodgers, but what the heck do I know?” Brown says. “I’m a politician. If you believe me, you’re in trouble.”

Maybe Gov. Moonbeam isn’t so silly, after all.

10:04 a.m.--A commercial break.

Mason, who came to XTRA from Toledo, Ohio, recalls when he met afternoon host Lee Hamilton four months ago.

“He said, ‘Don’t unpack your bags,’ ” Mason says.

Hamilton was kidding. Or so Mason thinks.

10:26 a.m.--Jeff calls from a pay phone at Ventura High.

Says Mason: “I wonder if there are kids in Japan calling sports-talk shows.”

11 a.m.-3 p.m.

“The Loose Cannons” with Steve Hartman and Chet Forte

11:07 a.m.--Steve Hartman is stationed at a Santa Monica restaurant-bar. Chet Forte, of “Monday Night Football” directorial fame, is in the XTRA studio. Waiting on the line is Dennis Miller, the late-night TV talk-show host who has appeared on “Loose Cannons” and, most recently, on Jim Lampley’s program on KMPC.

Hartman and Forte feign anger.

“That was really a dull interview,” Hartman says of the Lampley segment.

“Are you still on the air?” Forte asks.

Miller laughs it off and does a quick review of the day’s sports headlines. Miller knows his stuff, certainly enough to host his own sports-talk show. He says he liked the Gary Sheffield trade to the Padres from day one but was criticized by friends.

“They beat me like a narc at a biker rally,” he says.

He picks Andre Agassi in the French Open (OK, maybe Miller ought to stick to his night job), says Michael Jordan is the hands-down NBA MVP and still likes the Pittsburgh Pirates in the National League East. But mostly he wants to make sure there are no hard feelings about the Lampley appearance.

“I just wanted to say I’m not a traitor,” he says.

11:34 a.m.--”People on talk shows don’t know what they’re talking about.”

--Excerpt from a taped interview with Pittsburgh Steeler quarterback Bubby Brister.

12:52 p.m.--A caller asks about Howard Cosell. Forte, who spent years working with Cosell at ABC, praises the broadcaster’s talent but adds, “Our association now unadulteratingly stinks.”

During a commercial break, Forte says that the “Monday Night Football” team of Cosell, Don Meredith and Frank Gifford was “bigger than the game.”

1:12 p.m.--Someone wants some information on USC football. Forte doesn’t have a clue.

“I’ll be honest, I know as much about as USC as I do about Montana State,” he says.

To his credit, he tells a producer to make some calls on the subject.

1:50 p.m.--Padre reliever Randy Myers has blown another save. Padre fans are incensed. Forte defends him. Hartman can’t believe what he’s hearing.

“Chet, he’ll be the first closer in history to win 20 games,” Hartman says, commenting on Myers’ chances of giving up the tying run, then winning the game anyway.

2:00 p.m.--During a break, Forte says his status as a convicted felon and former gambling addict has prevented him from getting certain guests on the show.

For example, he says NFL officials are hesitant to appear on the program because of his gambling excesses.

“Are you going to indict me for the rest of my life because I admitted my mistake and I’m a convicted felon?” he asks. “Then fine. Then I’m not going to win anything with you--even if I’m a different guy.”

He also says no one from NBC will appear on his show because he once fired Terry O’Neil, now the executive producer of NBC sports. Forte fired O’Neil when they worked together on “Monday Night Football.” As for CBS, he says there isn’t anyone on their talent roster that interests him. And ABC? Everyone but Al Michaels (the two men had a disagreement years ago) is available.

Memo to Forte: Michaels does a daily sports trivia spot for KMPC.

2:25 p.m.--It is Steve from Huntington Beach.

“Hey, I call you guys four times a weeks,” he says. “I’ve got four words for you: Tommy Lasagna and Eric Karros.”

Forte and Hartman are speechless. For a moment.

2:55 p.m.--Hamilton enters the studio carrying two huge folders of reference material. He looks as if he has just raided a library file cabinet.

3 p.m.-7 p.m.

“The Lee Hamilton Show”

3:04 p.m.--Hamilton is 44, has a bit of a jelly roll, wears glasses, is nicknamed “Moe” by co-workers because of his supposed Three Stooges haircut, is a devoted family man and wears lots of polyester. But to hear him over the airwaves, you’d think he was 6 feet 4 and a former Marine drill instructor who once took out an enemy machine gun nest with his bare hands.

Hamilton has this Battle of Dunkirk voice that causes people to pay attention. He knows it, too.

“Here’s what’s going on in the world of sports,” he says dramatically as the show begins. “Here’s what Lee Hamilton thinks.”

His opening segment lasts nine minutes and covers 32 sports items. The items themselves are written on a small card. Hamilton ad libs the rest.

3:24 p.m.--John from San Diego wants to know about the compensation rules in major league baseball and also needs a status report on the prospects of a new collective bargaining agreement between the NFL and its players.

Major league general managers don’t even know all the rules, but Hamilton does. And if he doesn’t, who would know? His collective bargaining report is also enough to make NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue stand up and applaud.

4:00 p.m.--One hour gone and already Hamilton has answered 14 phone calls. Each time he answers a line he places his right foot on a mute pedal, which allows him to cut off the caller at any point in the conversation. It’s a dirty technological trick, but it prevents people from going on and on and on about such topics as “indoor soccer, sport of the ‘90s.”

Hamilton uses the pedal early and often.

4:36 p.m.--Time for a Newsmaker Line interview. It’s a ticky-tack complaint, but Hamilton never actually says the interview, this time with Chicago Sun-Times NBA reporter Mike Mulligan, has been taped hours ago.

As the tape rolls, Hamilton conducts a brief tour of the premises. His tiny office is cluttered with media guides and sports mementos, including an original Charger helmet--Hamilton is the Charger play-by-play man, as well as the San Diego State play-by-play announcer.

Hamilton also says KMPC contacted him three times about a job when the station went to an all-sports format. Hamilton says he was tempted but decided to stay put.

4:50 p.m.--He’s human.

A caller wants to know the names of some National League rookie of the year candidates and Hamilton can’t think of a single player. Thank goodness.

6:10 p.m.--Cindy from Los Angeles criticizes Laker center Vlade Divac for his inconsistent play. Hamilton disagrees.

Says Hamilton: “I don’t mean to jump over your new shoes, Cindy, but. . . .”

7 p.m.-Midnight

“The Jim Rome Show”

7:03 p.m.--Rome begins his program by challenging Chicago Bull Scottie Pippen “to be a man, to be an Olympian.” Then he derides Padre reliever Randy Myers for blowing another save opportunity. Then he says Jennifer Capriati choked during the French Open.

Rome isn’t exactly what you would call non-confrontational.

7:37 p.m.--If nothing else, Rome and producer Joe Tutino hustle. This time they get rookie Padre starter Frank Seminara on the phone for a postgame interview from Chicago. Earlier in the day, Seminara lost his major league debut when Myers failed to hold a Padre lead.

“There’s no reason to be down on him,” Seminara says of Myers.

7:45 p.m.--Maybe it is an honest mistake, but Tutino, who also does the sports update, tells listeners the Angel-Baltimore Oriole game will start “in just a bit.”

The game started 10 minutes ago, with Baltimore leading, 2-0, in the bottom of the first. The game can be heard on KMPC.