NORM Fights Sensitivity, Hopes for Return of Real Men, Circa 1950s

Like a bull in a room of Dresden worth $200 per-place setting, Evan Keliher of Rancho Bernardo charges into a world that is hip deep in political correctness and gender blending.

First there was his paperback, “For Men Only (How to Survive Marriage).” It suggested--only slightly tongue in cheek--that men take control (both of the marriage and the television set) and not suffer any guff.

The book sold briskly and Keliher, 60, a retired high school teacher from Detroit, visited the talk shows.

Jenny Jones, who does a syndicated show for NBC, asked him, “Does the word sensitivity and your name ever appear in the same sentence?” Cosmopolitan hissed that Keliher is a “hateful misogynist.”

Now Keliher is back at it.

He’s started NORM, the National Organization of Real Men. Look for a kickoff event soon. Maybe Keliher will hawk a few books, too.

He wants to halt the feminization of the American male before it’s too late.

“Men aren’t supposed to be nurturing and warm; they’re supposed to conquer empires and build things. NORM is going to give men some things to hold on to: cigars, beer, sports bars. Guys need these things.”

The first edition of the NORM newsletter is already among us: Complete with manifesto (“American Men Strike Back!”), news stories (“Nagged Man Strangles Wife,” “Women Have Smaller Brains!”) and a review of presidential candidates: Clinton is an honorary real man, Perot is a honorary real man “in good standing” and Bush, naturally, is a wimp.

NORM is opposed both to the National Organization for Women and the “men’s movement” of Robert Bly (“Iron John”) and Bly’s fellow travelers.

“I tried reading it (‘Iron John’)” Keliher says. “I couldn’t make sense of it. It’s all about golden balls and monsters in wells. They actually encourage men to cry and hug each other. That’s exactly the wrong direction.”

Keliher even has a motto for NORM: “Forward to the Fifties.”

“In the Eisenhower era, there were millions of real men. Now they’re all gone,” Keliher sighs.

For the record: Real men are allowed to sigh, but only when nobody is looking.

Just Say No to Blue

Look here.

* The San Diego Police Officers Assn. has again brought up the idea of officers switching from tan to midnight blue uniforms.

The response from management was quick: No way!

Among other reasons, the bosses at City Hall don’t want anything that makes San Diego cops look like Los Angeles cops.

* The Legislature is said to be a club where members help each other when possible. But there are limits.

State Sen. Lucy Killea (I-San Diego) has been asked to co-host a fund-raiser to help Assemblywoman Carol Bentley (R-El Cajon) pay off a campaign debt. Part of that debt is a $10,000 loan from ex-State Sen. Jim Ellis.

Bentley was Killea’s opponent for an open Senate seat in 1989. Ellis is Killea’s opponent this year.

Think about it: By helping Bentley repay Ellis, Killea would be helping Ellis build a war chest for the campaign.

Killea declined the invitation.

* Public pot.

Found by firefighters on the banks of the San Diego River: Numerous nicely flourishing marijuana plants in buckets and hidden by plastic.

* Nancy watch.

Nancy Hilliard, sister-in-law of Nancy Hoover Hunter, says Hunter is in Santa Barbara, surrounded by family after 30 months behind bars:

“She’s fine, a little dazed, but she tried to make the best of it (prison). She taught aerobics and math. She used her brain in there, which is something she likes to do.”

Any reunion between Hunter and her son, George, 29, may have to wait.

Hilliard says the family has not heard from George in more than a year.

* Bill Clinton left San Diego so quickly Monday he probably didn’t learn there’s an Over-the-Line Tournament team named after him: “The Women in Arkansas Are So Fast They Need a Governor . . . “

Fair Cuisine

Proof that satire is not a lost art.

From the Escondido Times Advocate on the opening of the Del Mar Fair: “Both toe-tapping tunes and mouth-watering Spam will be available. . . . “