CITY HALL ROUNDUP : It would take a brave new bride to plan a wedding after reading this.

BRAVE NEW SPOOF: So you two lovebirds are just getting down to the wedding planning? A local boy has figured out how to help you do it right.

Most Lucrative Shower Themes. Handy Clip ‘n’ Save Prenuptial Agreement. Gifts: Why It’s Always Best to Receive. The Biggest Rock Engagement Ring . . . When You Can’t Get Her on Your Own.

It’s all in “Brave New Bride.”

Graphic designer Brenden Hyde, a Palos Verdes Estates native, said the bridal magazine spoof released this month was born when author Peter Carlin sat down with his fiancee’s parents to break the engagement news.

After a few moments of joyful tears, Carlin’s future mother-in-law suddenly dried her eyes, excused herself for a few minutes and disappeared into another room. When she returned, the nightmare familiar to all engaged couples began.

“I just called Ann, and she can do the flowers,” she said. “I left a message with Susan about reserving the Racquet Club for Aug. 19. . . . If we don’t move quickly, everything will be taken.”

It was early January.

“Putting this thing together was fun,” Hyde said. “Some of the material in these bridal magazines we barely had to touch because it’s already a parody of itself.”

“Late for Dinner Again?” asks a cutlery ad in the spoof, featuring a wicked-looking knife. “Hand Forged . . . He’ll Get the Point.”

LOOSE CHANGE: Torrance, which has shelled out tens of thousands of dollars in settlements, has once again shown that it really knows a good deal when it sees one.

The City Council recently agreed to pay $124,000 to a law firm that helped Torrance take over a muffler shop property, part of a $326,000 bill the city got from Palmieri, Tyler, Wiener, Wilhelm & Waldron for fighting to move out Walter (Jake) Egan, Torrance’s notorious muffler man.

Egan fought the city for years over the site, claiming that Torrance just wanted the land to clean up the property in front of American Honda Motor Co. headquarters that the city sought so desperately. Torrance said it needed the property to straighten a curve in the street.

Egan walked away with a settlement that could supply him with mufflers the rest of his life. The price tag for his musty muffler shop: a cool $350,000.

STOP THE PRESSES: Why is it that when cities look around for ways to save a few pennies, they end up cutting the most ridiculous things? Rancho Palos Verdes wins the midsummer Ebenezer Scrooge award for this week’s decision to stop providing free press agenda packages to newspapers with paid circulations of less than 3,000 that publish less than twice a month.

Council members said the measure would cut costs, but council gadfly Lois LaRue, who writes for a bimonthly San Pedro publication named Random Lengths, called it a violation of the First Amendment. Another local publication, the Monitor, will also lose its access to free press kits because it doesn’t meet the council’s criteria.

LaRue, who has been accused by council members of costing the city thousands of dollars in legal fees because she regularly appeals council decisions, said she was entitled to a free packet.

The city made her pay for Tuesday night’s agenda anyway, to the tune of $20.50. At that rate, she told the council, the agenda packets will cost her more than $500 per year.

“I appeal to the council to reinstate my access to the press kit because of the importance of the work that I have been doing,” she said.

BIRTHDAY BASH: We’re told that the South Bay is having a coming-out party today. The South Bay Lesbian/Gay Community Organization is holding its gay pride festival today at Aviation Park in Redondo Beach.

The party begins at 9 a.m. and will feature such artists as Mona Caywood as “Miss Fern,” comic Genne Wiley and the GAY Freedom Band. The event is being held to celebrate the organization’s third anniversary.

“The day is sure to be interesting,” according to the group’s news release.

LAST WEEK’S HIGHLIGHTS

Rancho Palos Verdes: The City Council on Tuesday voted unanimously to deny without prejudice a grading application for a residential housing development on Forrestal Drive. The builder, J. M. Peters Co., could not figure out how to remove and dispose of nearly 200,000 cubic yards of dirt from the site without violating the city’s General Plan, which precludes development that alters landforms. If J. M. Peters Co. wants to try again to build a 42-lot development, it will have to go back to the Planning Commission with a new grading plan.

Inglewood: Inglewood school Principal Vivian Shannon has been named to the Rebuild L.A. board of directors by chairman Peter V. Ueberroth. Shannon, who lives in Los Angeles, is principal of Centinela Elementary School and is a 30-year veteran of education.

MEETINGS THIS WEEK

Gardena: 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, 1700 W. 162nd St., Gardena. (310) 217-9565. Televised live on Channel 22 (Paragon) and repeated at 7 p.m. the next two Sundays.

Hawthorne: 7 p.m. Monday, 4455 W. 126th St., Hawthorne. (310) 970-7902. Televised on Channel 22 (Paragon) at 7 p.m. Tuesday and Thursday and 6 p.m. Saturday.

Hermosa Beach: 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, 1315 Valley Drive, Hermosa Beach. (310) 318-0239. Televised live on Channel 3 (Multivision).

Inglewood: 7 p.m. Tuesday, 1 Manchester Blvd., Inglewood. (310) 412-5280. No cable telecast.

Los Angeles: 10 a.m. Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, 200 N. Spring St., Los Angeles. In San Pedro, (310) 548-7637; in Wilmington, (310) 548-7586; in Harbor City/Harbor Gateway, (310) 548-7664; in Westchester, (310) 641-4717. Televised live on Channel 35; meetings repeated individually at 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday and collectively on Sunday starting at 10 a.m.

Palos Verdes Estates: 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, 340 Palos Verdes Drive W., Palos Verdes Estates. (310) 378-0383. No cable telecast.

Rolling Hills: 7:30 p.m. Monday, 2 Portuguese Bend Road, Rolling Hills. (310) 377-1521. No cable telecast.

Rolling Hills Estates: 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, 4045 Palos Verdes Drive N., Rolling Hills Estates. (310) 377-1577. Televised live on Channel 3 (Dimension).

Torrance: 7 p.m. Tuesday, 3031 Torrance Blvd., Torrance. (310) 618-5880. Televised live on Channel 22 (Paragon) and repeated at 10 p.m. Wednesday and Thursday, and at 10 a.m., 3 p.m. and 8 p.m. on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.