Focus : Who Watches That Stuff!?

If you have ever wondered who watches “Mama’s Family,” “The New Leave It to Beaver” or “Family Feud,” you’ve come to the right place. Some brave TV Times readers stepped forward and admitted--for publication--their guilty TV viewing pleasures:

Bikini Watch

“Baywatch” is not only a guilty pleasure but a confession, as I am the editor of The Movie Reporter (a newsletter exhorting quality films and TV shows!).

There can only be one reason why anyone would view “Baywatch”--the stars run around in sexy outfits. I do try to be sensitive to women and the strides they are taking toward equality, but if they’re going to walk around with nothing on, I’m going to look!

Phil Boatwright, Thousand Oaks

Hey, Dobe

Inveterate TV watchers rarely feel guilt, but viewing “Dobie Gillis” comes close to approximating this emotion.

Many episodes reeked, especially when Dobe and Maynard enlist. The college scenes were best--which of us can say our Psych 101 experiences included chimps in the classroom?

The series’ fun stems, though, from identifying cast members appearing elsewhere. Everyone knows about Warren Beatty, Tuesday Weld, William Schallert, Frank Faylen (“It’s a Wonderful Life”), Florida Friebus (“Bob Hartley”), but others were comic JoAnne Worley, Yvonne Craig (the original Batgirl), Sally Kellerman (“MASH”) and Barbara Bain (“Mission Impossible”).

Plus the incipient Gilligan!

John Wood, Oakland

Late Night Vu-ing

Late, as I find myself succumbing to the numbing effect of the night, I invariably find myself watching, no absorbing, the images of Tom Vu and his real estate infommercial.

The man in his Polo shorts, bikini-clad blondes, yachts, Rolls-Royce convertibles, client testimonials and nirvana-inspiring speeches on how I, too, can become rich by using his real estate techniques is, of course, an ambrosia I’ll fight any of Olympus’ gods over. It’s quirky, cheesy, curious, pathetic and expressly Americana.

Jim Marquez, Los Angeles

Top Chef

My guilty pleasure TV show is “The Frugal Gourmet” on both Lifetime and KCET. I know men aren’t supposed to watch cooking shows, but there’s something so holistic and real about Jeff Smith that I sit there with a big, silly grin on my face for the whole show. I don’t even try to make the foods; I just enjoy watching him bring me into his world.

Alvin Epstein, Santa Monica

Great Scott

Dr. Gene Scott: I don’t understand a word he says, but he’s mesmerizing. Scott owns the camera, like Paul Harvey controls the microphone. He stares silently at us, ignoring the cost and our discomfort, like a loop of a Bergman film, without the plot.

Scott is an angelic cherub, Pan, a furious Moses. He’s ageless and always there, in the middle of an eternal telethon. In total control, obsessed and believable, Scott does the wickedest ad-libbing since W.C. Fields.

I like his hats and cigars. No one smokes so erotically. Gene Scott is a breath of very fresh air time.

Ron Norman, Los Angeles

That’s Deep

My guilty pleasure is Arsenio Hall and his nightly woof-a-thon. There’s just something hysterical about his asking a serious question and his usual “response”: He either looks blankly and says, “That’s deep,” or he looks blankly and says “Interesting.”

It’s clear Arsenio rarely, if ever, is really listening to any of his guests. The thrill is to watch him totally tune out and then try to appear to be actually interested in what someone on his famous couch is saying. It’s equally thrilling to see the look on his guests’ faces when they realize Arsenio’s really not listening and yet they have to somehow continue the conversation as if he really is listening and interested.

Of course, my family’s biggest thrill is wondering what really is on Arsenio’s mind as he spaces out while his guests are talking. Our collective guess: Eddie Murphy and what happened to his career!

Kathy Cohen, West Hollywood

Well, Gollly

My guilty pleasure is “The Andy Griffith Show,” which airs in the morning. I feel guilty because I know I should be working on my computer. I struggle daily between my desire for discipline over pleasure.

My show was preempted by the Rodney King trial. I missed Aunt Bee’s warmth and kind-hearted ways. I missed Opie’s smile and youthful mischief. I missed Andy affectionately teasing Barney. I missed the silly, funny people who made you feel a part of Mayberry. In light of recent events, now, more than ever, we need to return to a sense of Mayberry.

Rebecca Joyce, Saugus

Order in Wapner’s Court

I’m embarrassed to admit that I like “The People’s Court.” It’s about real slobs with real problems. Judge Wapner gets away with being so rude and patronizing that I often feel sorry for the litigants in a sick sort of way. I heard a guy on David Letterman point out that Doug Llewelyn’s upper lip never moves when he speaks, which is true and also quite entertaining.

As awful as the show is, I have learned a lot about small claims court: get everything notarized, don’t talk unless asked a question, and say “Sir” and “Your Honor” a lot.

Abigail Kurtz Mahoney, San Marcos

“The People’s Court” is hard to turn off. On one typical segment a mother sued her daughter for incurring thousands of dollars in phone bills. Who could tune out before finding out the particulars. (The girl was bored.) Judge Wapner not only sees through liars and fakes but does not hesitate to correct a litigant’s grammar. Here is a hint for the novice viewer: whenever a litigant owns a dog that was off-leash when trouble occurred, he will surely lose, regardless of how cute the dog is.

Joan Turner Cox, Newport Beach

The Answer Is

“Kid Quiz,” which comes on at 6:30 a.m. Saturday and which features teams of elementary school students trying to answer sixth-grade-level questions. The kids are cute, the competition is fierce, but the real reason I watched it is because it makes me feel really smart for 30 minutes a week. It’s a great antidote to “Jeopardy.”

Jeanette Morrison, Torrance

Off Color

I have been laughing at “In Living Color” since its inception, but the guilt is recent. In one show they parodied the homeless, AA meetings and gays (twice). I suddenly realized that they embodied all the bigotry and denial of white power culture. And I thought they were rebels. Rats.

Pete Osterhaw, Los Angeles

Soaring With Big Bird

For starters there’s “Sesame Street” after the kids have left for day-care. That’s a token confession, though; I’m just keeping up with the kids, right? “90210” fits this alibi nicely also. Genuine dirt? What the heck, by writing this I’m already owning up to reading TV Times; what have I got to lose? Not that I admit to watching this stuff regularly, but it happens. “Gilligan’s Island,” Gap commercials (on tape when I could fast-forward), football and any appearance by George F. Will. I tell myself I’m conducting a form of anthropological research.

Ted Schlesselman, Santa Monica

Short Cuts

My guilty pleasure is watching old Alan Ladd movies on TV. While this may not seem unusual, it may well be perverse! I had never had much interest in Alan Ladd until I read that he was very conscious of his height (or lack of it). That piqued my curiosity. From then on, I never missed his movies, watching them for the express purpose of seeing how they made him look taller. If Ladd is standing, everyone else is leaning or sitting, and vice versa. If both are standing, you can bet the other actor (or actress) is in a ditch.

Katherine Robertson, Alhambra

The Survey Says

Forget about your Gallup polls--the best way to know what Americans are really thinking is by watching “Family Feud.” I love to see the families interact, and how they yell “Good answer!” even when somebody makes a totally bone-headed response. If there’s ever been a more perfectly designed game show, I’ve yet to catch it. “Family Feud” is a must-tape program for me.

Dawna Kaufman, Los Angeles

That’s My Mama

Oh, please, hear my confession. I’m a “Mama’s Family” addict. I’m embarrassed to admit watching it, but I can’t help myself. It never fails to get a chuckle out of me. All my friends think it’s a corny show, but I love it and it cracks me up. I love to watch and I don’t know why. I also am the only one in the world who still watches “CHiPs” and “Flipper.”

Regan Thomspon, Laguna Beach

And Tiger Too

We never miss “The Brady Bunch.” Since we attend school during the day, we tape it every afternoon and watch it the following morning, fast-forwarding through the commercials. We’ve watched the show virtually our entire lives, often reciting lines or singing along with the characters. Though we would certainly never result to modeling ourselves after those hip Brady kids, you can learn a lot from them, especially from their groovy hairstyles, fashion-sense, choreography and their lingo.

Chris (18) and Katie (16) Keach, El Cajon