Victory Like That Is Enough to Light Up the Whole House

Larry Laoretti, the cigar-smoking golfer who won the U.S. Senior Open on Sunday, lives in a new house on a golf course in Jupiter, Fla., with his family--wife Susan and their 2 1/2-year-old son, Lonnie--and travels to tournaments in a motor home.

Until Sunday, when Laoretti earned $130,000 for his first tournament victory, the house rule was no cigars inside the motor home or the new house. But that may change.

“He can smoke all he wants,” his wife said Sunday.

Trivia time: Of the 208 players included on this year’s All-Star ballot, who received the fewest votes?

Fashion fools: Wrote Mark Preston of Tennis magazine, on Wimbledon’s unbending policy of predominantly white clothing for players: “Doesn’t anyone else find it slightly ironic that guys who dress predominantly in purple and green are setting the rules for fashion standards?”

Since when? On the cover of Stanford’s 1992 football guide, it says, “The Excellence Continues.” Stanford has had two winning seasons since ’80 and hasn’t played in the Rose Bowl since ’72.

For what it’s worth: The National League has twice defeated the American League in All-Star games played at Milwaukee’s County Stadium, once as the home team and once as the visitor. In 1955, County Stadium was home to the Braves; in 1975, it was home to the Brewers.

Good question: In a list of “best songs recorded in the last 25 years that pertain to baseball in some way, shape or form,” Mike Hlas of the Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Gazette included Bruce Springsteen’s “Glory Days.”

Added Hlas: “This would be higher up the list, but talks about a guy who could ‘throw that speedball by you.’ Who ever called a fastball a ‘speedball?’ ”

Sign of the times: Brian Harper of the Minnesota Twins, on All-Star balloting: “Most of the kids vote based on the value of their cards. If Bo Jackson were on the ballot, I bet he’d be voted to a starting position. They say, ‘If his rookie card is worth $12, he must be good,’ no matter how the individual is playing.”

Common thread: The five coaches in NFL history with the worst winning percentages for at least 100 games--Marion Campbell, John McKay, Dan Henning, Ray Perkins and Norm Van Brocklin--all worked at one point for either the Atlanta Falcons or the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

Waterlogged: Evian will ship 41,000 gallons of water to Barcelona to keep the U.S. Olympic team hydrated.

That translates to 167 1.5-liter bottles per athlete, and they might need it. Temperatures in Barcelona during late July and early August traditionally average 90 degrees, with 90% humidity.

Gimme back my quarterback: Reported Will McDonough of the Boston Globe: “Insiders say UCLA football Coach Terry Donahue was ready to take legal action against the NFL if quarterback Tommy Maddox was not selected in the first round (of the draft).”

Trivia answer: Lee Stevens of the Angels, with 47,982.

Quotebook: Mark Wolf of the Rocky Mountain News, on last month’s deal between the Denver Broncos and Miami Dolphins: “Trading Bobby Humphrey for Sammie Smith would appear to be like trading chicken pox for the measles.”