And Now, Presenting the ‘Shell Out or Shell Up’ Traffic-Citation Plan

Law and disorder.

* From scofflaw to mollusk.

The hot line set up by Mayor Maureen O’Connor continues to field all manner of suggestions on how to handle the city’s latest budget crisis.

Including one from Wayne Johnson in Rancho Bernardo, who says he controls “the Kingdom of God” and can issue executive orders therein.

He offers to issue an order that everybody with traffic fines pay up or spend one day for every $1 owed “in a lower life form.”

* The Times reported last week that O’Connor has dropped her police bodyguard.

Now the Old Mission Beach Athletic Club has offered to provide security for the mayor. Thanks, but no thanks.

* When the National Sheriff’s Assn. held its convention in San Diego this summer, naturally there was a golf tournament.

But not enough sheriffs signed up to play at the Whispering Palms Country Club in Rancho Santa Fe.

So Sheriff Jim Roache, the convention host, put out an urgent plea for his (off-duty) deputies to come round out the foursomes, paid for by NSA.

About 50 deputies responded, out of loyalty for the boss and a chance to play a nice course gratis.

Deputies got free green fees (normally $23), free golf carts ($22), and free access to the beverage cart that roams the course. Such a deal, right?

Not everyone is pleased.

Gary A. Cantrell, a sheriff’s lieutenant, complains bitterly in this month’s Silver Star, a publication of the Deputy Sheriffs Assn., that deputies were refused “the complimentary tournament goodie bag” and barred from the post-tournament luncheon.

Writes/fumes Cantrell:

“On top of that--this is almost too hard to believe--the second-place foursome, including a deputy from my command, was denied the second-place award because they were non-paying ‘locals.’

“That, in my humble opinion, is absolute, unequivocal, pompous garbage!”

A spokesman for the Sheriff’s Department says Cantrell is right about the restrictions but that most deputies managed to have a good time anyway.

But We’re Sure He Was There in Spirit

On campus (and off).

* One of the knocks on Thomas Day, president of San Diego State University, has been that he’s grown aloof from the faculty and doesn’t even know the names or faces of many major professors.

So Day met recently with half a dozen sociology professors who have been his most outspoken critics after being targeted for layoff.

The meeting lasted three hours and was, well, greatly spirited in its discussion of Day’s handling (or mishandling) of the budget mess.

Afterward, presumably to show he hasn’t lost touch with the faculty, Day sent individual notes to those in attendance to say how much he appreciated hearing their views.

One of the notes went to Richard Hough, a specialist in mental health and homeless issues who has brought $8 million in research grants to SDSU, which is hardly chump change.

There was only one thing wrong with the Day note: Hough was not at the meeting.

* The University of San Diego gets the Bush-Clinton debate on Oct. 4.

Yes, but San Diego State gets the real presidential heavyweight.

Pat Paulsen, the perennial presidential candidate, appears at Oct. 8 at an SDSU-sponsored luncheon at the Mission Bay Hilton.

He’ll talk politics and push his video: “Pat Paulsen on Wine: Three Cheers for the Red, White and Rose.”

Either Way, They Still Want Ice Water

Signs of the times.

* Stuart Glassman of Rancho Bernardo reports a bumper sticker on Interstate 15: “I Know Hell Is Hot, But Does It Have Humidity?”

* Now available: “Hell Hath No Fury,” a paperback treatment of the Betty Broderick tale by Bryna Taubman (she did “The Preppy Murder Trial”).

* George Weston of El Cajon saw this sign at a Boll Weevil Restaurant:

“Notice: Smokers and chewers will please spit on each other and not on the stove or floor.”