Between Man and His Dog: A Failure to Communicate

I don’t know which is more exasperating--my computer, my VCR or my dog.

Actually, I am at peace with my computer, since I use it only for one function--writing. Its numerous other functions are not called on.

Though I am far from having it mastered, I feel that I have an accommodation with my new VCR. It is still recalcitrant in several of its modes, but in its simplest manifestations we understand each other.

The dog is something else.

Like most of our other pets she was foisted on us by an anonymous neighbor. Evidently people use us as foster caretakers of their unwanted animals. Actually, they attribute to me a great deal more compassion than I have.

In the 42 years we have lived on Mt. Washington, we have never been without pets, and in all that time I have purchased only one--my Airedale.

I concede that the Airedale was more trouble than all the others. He was not only independent; he was arrogant, stubborn, recalcitrant, crafty, duplicitous and fickle. He was also quite lovable.

I have never believed that dogs are as intelligent as they are said to be in legend. They are not as stupid as horses, that is certain; but they are not as smart as cats, either.

The very fact that dogs allow themselves to be trained, and even to perform some household chores, like bringing in the paper, suggests that cats are more intelligent.

For the past year or two, for example, my wife has been feeding five wild cats every morning when she gets up. In return for this benevolence, the cats do not respond with even the slightest show of affection. They do not even allow themselves to be picked up and petted by their benefactress.

Why we are supporting them I don’t know. They are all one family, though, of course, fatherless. They are a mother, a son and three daughters by a second mate. They show no affection for one another. All are safely altered; another expense that we bore in their behalf.

But our present dog, Suzie, has me at the edge of my sanity. She was placed in our yard several years ago. We named her Suzie after my wife’s sister, who was visiting at the time. She saw the dog first.

Suzie is a brownish German shepherd type. She weighs only 50 pounds, but she is extremely strong. She cannot be manhandled. I can’t even hold her still enough to spray for fleas.

Our problem with Suzie is trying to keep her in. We have a large fenced yard. The fence is five feet high. We also have a smaller enclosed dog yard. For two or three years she seemed to be contained.

Then she found out how to escape. We let her out into the larger yard, thinking she would be happier in that and not try to get out. But she got out. Neighbors kept bringing her back on a leash. It was embarrassing.

I cannot figure out how she escapes. She must jump or climb the fence, but I don’t know where. We keep her in the house all night. Now, however, I keep her on a long leash in the dog yard. She is obviously unhappy, and I feel guilty.

Recently I noticed that she was scratching at night. I took her to Hal’s Eagle Rock Pet Shop for a bath. When I came back an hour later she was washed, but Hal looked exhausted. He said he and his groomer had had to fight her all the way.

“She must be part wolf,” he said seriously.

He pointed out that she had some sort of growth or lesion on her right rear leg. “You ought to have it looked at,” he said.

I took her to the Avenue 26 Small Animal Hospital. Dr. Sandin said it was “a growth,” and ought to be taken off. I left her for surgery.

I came back three hours later. The doctor said he had had to put her under a full anesthetic. She was too rambunctious to handle. The bill was $153.

The doctor gave us some antibiotic pills to give her--three times a day. He didn’t say how I was to make her take them. I tried giving her one. She spit it out. I forced her mouth open and put the pill on the back of her tongue. She spit it out.

Finally my wife ground up one in her food, and as far as we know, she took it.

Somehow I feel I’ll lick my VCR before I figure out how to keep her in.

If she were intelligent, though, she’d know that she wouldn’t be tied up if she stayed in the yard.

As I say, dogs aren’t very smart.