OFF-CENTERPIECE : MOVIES : A Sneak Peek Into the, <i> uh</i> , Lives of ‘Addams Family II’

The last time we saw Morticia Addams, she was knitting something very, very small.

It’s a boy.

In a first draft of the script for Paramount Pictures’ “Addams Family II,” the sequel to the 1991 holiday hit, Morticia gives birth to a son, Pubert, who is the spitting image of Gomez.

But who will care for the child? Naughty siblings Wednesday and Pugsley torture the first string of nanny applicants (they set one on fire, send another out of the house wearing a straitjacket). Finally, the perfect candidate shows up: she’s blond, she’s strong-willed, she loves children and she is hired immediately.

Little does Morticia know that she’s a nanny-from-hell Black Widow serial killer who is determined to take over the Addams fortune.

“The Hand That Rocks the Cradle” meets “The Addams Family” is the premise for the sequel to the hit that grossed over $100 million domestically. Paul Rudnick, who did an uncredited rewrite on the first “Addams” film, wrote the most wicked tale, now awaiting studio approval, which pits the creepy, kooky, ooky etc. clan against that new movie staple: the blond psychotic interloper who will stop at nothing to get what she wants.

In “The Addams Family II,” the nanny’s name is Debbie and she’s a nymphomaniac as well as a ruthless killer. Although at one point she fools around with the family’s pet hand, Thing, she eventually sets her sights on a besotted Uncle Fester. Their romance culminates in a wedding, arranged by Debbie purely to get her hands on the Addams’ millions.

From there on, things get nasty. Debbie finally convinces Fester to leave the manor, and gives him a complete make-over (clothes by Armani, tresses by the Hair Club For Men) all the while plotting his murder.

In the recently completed draft, the clash of genres culminates in a bitter battle between Debbie and the clan that features the nanny and Morticia locked in a fatal concluding brawl a la “The Hand That Rocks the Cradle.” The Addamses show up at Debbie and Fester’s new house and move in for the kill to preserve their family values.

Although no director has yet been announced for “The Addams Family” sequel, one source close to the production expects the original cast--Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia and Christopher Lloyd--to be on board for the film. Although no shooting dates are firm, the studio hopes to release the movie next Thanksgiving.

As for the role of nanny Debbie, all concerned are reportedly looking for an actress who can correctly convey the pathos, sick psychotic state and blondness the part requires.

Rebecca . . . are you available?